A wild tactic to get a much needed break!

Woman with butterflies in her hair


As women we sometimes talk mad shit about men, let me speak for myself, I talk mad shit about the men I know personally, in good ways and bad. The men in my life have been a source of great joy and pleasure as well as pain and an even greater source of  irritation that they make my ass itch!

As side from having to act like a wild banshee bitch from time to time to get some understanding from the men in my life -be it my father, brothers, cousins, x-husband, lovers, etc…. there are times when they will blow your mind. I am reminded by the episode on Shameless when the black lady married to the white guy was mad that her husband did a better job mothering her babies, she seemed disappointed and relieved at the same time.

At times being a woman, especially a mother, can encourage martyrdom….I could be wrong but I’ve lived long enough to see that men enjoy themselves, I don’t give a dam, how hard they work, how many jobs they have, regardless to their responsibilities they are going to celebrate and have fun…… with their friends, another woman, their cars/toys…..they are not going to sit around and wait to enjoy themselves and or ask for permission.

Dam shame women, especially black women got to take a crack break to get some help and respite, not Terry, during the tipping point in the crack epidemic, I could only imagine Terry sitting at home seething, thinking about how tired she was, how her own kids were pushing her over the edge. I could see Terry pacing the floor thinking…..” that son of bitch Stevie get to do whatever he wants, while I’m over here doing all the work, he got a thousand bitches sucking his Dick and I’m trying to figure out how I’m gone feed and clothed theses kids!”

And a scene from Pootie Tang ensues in reverse with her packing all her kids shit in plastic bags, and as she packs their shit up, she’s cussing up a storm as her 7 and 9 year old children look on in wonderment. Now I remember this day like yesterday, it is the same place I was at when the L.A. Riots broke out after the Rodney King Verdict, not too far from where Football set it off.

Anyway, we were all standing in the middle of the corridors outside when you heard skids from tires and then a woman yelling and screaming tossing things out of her car onto the grass out front and the last audible thing I heard was, ” Stevie, I left your kids and they shit on the grass, they living wit you now!” and Terry got in her car and sped away!

We all walked out to the front, my x husband and I watched Steve very intently and the only thing he said calmly was, ” These my kids!” and gave Cynthia and Champ both hugs and kisses. There was no dramatic response by Stevie nor the children, on the contrary, all three seemed to be quite tickled by their mother’s demonstration.

As Stevie was bringing the children and their bags in his sister’s house whom we were all visiting, his mean surly sister got on the phone-calling all the women in the family saying how Terry was a bad mother and woman. I didn’t see it that way, I thought it was heroic and courageous to take a stand and say, I’m not doing this shit by myself, she didn’t ask for permission she gave herself the much needed break that she deserved!

About a year ago at one of my x husbands’ family get togethers his Uncle Stevie and Terry were talking and laughing with one another and I brought up the incident and she told me from the point of her dropping the children off that day over time they had developed the greatest friendship with one another and became even better parents as a result.

Terry and Stevie will always be my heroes!


Comments ( 2 )

  1. ReplyFO

    Insightful post. Very true women tend to feel the weight of doing all the right things by their children hence less fun, which is a shame as women are most critical of one another.

    • Replyoyomike8

      I say write yourself a permission slip, if need be, to get what you want and or need.

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