You can fix crazy but not stupid

Naked woman powdered with body paint lying down on fashion fabrics

 

 

Evangeline died yesterday in her sleep just like Tee. She had been on my mind the previous week yet I never called or reached out to her. Another wild girl, we saw each other a couple of days after her mother’s memorial, she asked me to come get her from her sisters’ house.

Since then we had spoken regularly, her bouts with mental illness stemmed from years of sexual abuse by her mothers’ many boyfriends. She was the second generation of sexual abuse but somehow it was never talked about or addressed. Despite, her struggles and wounds her heart remained open, full of love and passion and as each family member shunned her for being too much of one thing and not enough of the other, she fought to be loved until her death.

Fighting to be loved, heard, and validated becomes routine for the scapegoated because their wounds are visible through, outbursts, melancholy, needed conversations, begging to be heard, cussing, fussing, drinking sexing, drugging all the things we do to replace the love, comfort and support from the people we share blood ties with…. the only thing you get in return is, ” You know she is crazy!” As if crazy means that you are unworthy to be loved.

The crazy makes everyone feel uncomfortable, ” Why won’t she just shut the fuck up!” How is a young woman to be blamed when her own mother whored her out. How do you reconcile, that Vangy was the reason rent got paid and food got bought.

Molestation, mental illness, and death are taboos, not to be discussed. When I think about how the people who have touched my life the most died-it seems that they ultimately died of a broken heart, Jill, Eric, Tee, Vangy, Devesha, Serta and more.

Society and families are like cliques made up of people who are able to conform, who are able to shut themselves off to remain well-behaved to be accepted by the group and therefore receive love and support. But what about those who cannot-do we leave them alone and abandoned like Hagar in the wilderness, do we reenact the myth and leave them in the Forrest like the albino children of ancient African Mothers with the thought that if they are able to survive then they will live and what happens when the children who were left in the Forrest survive and return in rage….. will you acknowledged the wrong done or will you just label them the devil!

Comments ( 2 )

  1. ReplyFO

    Sorry to hear about your friend, sounds like a very sad story. Sadly mental illness and sexual molestation get ignored perhaps because the victims for the most part are the true sufferers and tend to feel trapped for way too long especially where there's no one to open up to...

    • Replyoyomike8

      Thank you for your concern-I am beyond tired of the victims being silenced into early graves!

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