Monthly archives "February 2016"

#1 way to prevent identity theft-nail shit down!

Folks will steal yo shit if you don’t nail it down-Yeye

Each time that I doubt myself, feel less than, wonder if what I have to say is important I am reminded of the truth that people will say the things you do, the talents you have, the stories you tell aint shit and then them same Ratbastards will turn around and steal yo shit as you stew in self-doubt.

“You gotta nail shit down or folks gone steal your shit. If you want your shit you better nail it down!” My Yeye said, this slogan like a jingle for a commercial. I used to think for a long time my father was 5150 yet the older I got I learned my mother had my father beat. But as wild and out of control as they were when it came to real life advise and wisdom they made good sense and I listened to them even when they didn’t make sense. See your life got to catch up to your parents sayings and wisdom before they ever make any sense to you, that’s why the old heads say, ” Keep Livin!”

See good parents and great parents aren’t perfect-they fuck up alot along the way, however the good seeds they plant in you will help you grow roots so deep in the earth when this life tries to break you down and make you feel less than, not good enough or undeserving-after you shake the bullshit off caint nobody tell you shit.

This brings to mind, I have been wanting to write and talk about my cousin Derrick but I would have to mention how he broke out of jail and was on America’s Most Wanted at one time yet as much as I know it’s a true story, it sounds completely made up until I ran across this video. I was up late at night and had to get up early so I was thinking how  I could wake up the next morning without being bitchy on a couple of hours of sleep and this video sumed up what my Yeye always used to chant to me.

“You gotta nail shit down!”



Felipe Garcia Villamil


We bout that life-Hood proverb


The spirits work in mysterious ways and one night we the children of the founders and builders of Oyotunji were summoned by Felipe Garcia Villamil aka Papi. Neither of us knew the mysterious person who had invited us to pay homage to our beloved King and Oyotunji.  We were greeted with pageantry and majesty. He welcomed us into his homes with the rhythm of the anya biollo drums and enchanting singing and the aromas of the most delicious smells. His hospitality and that of his family can not be explained in words. Felipe Garcia is a moving and walking wonder and at the age of 83 he is stronger than any man in his 20’s and for sure still a catch and a catdaddy. I could never repay him for the love and richness that he has given my life!

Tall, Dark and Handsome


Woman Leaning Against Low Rider --- Image by © Sonja Pacho/Corbis

This post is dedicated to Quincy. I miss you so much sweetie. I can’t remember what age we were when Quincy got killed maybe it was 10th grade I would have to ask somebody. I used to love staring at Quincy, he excited me, Quincy knew how to make you feel good about yourself. He would say, ” Hey Lady!” whenever he greeted me. When Quincy spoke to you he spoke to your heart your spirit. Have you ever been kissed all over you face? That’s how he made you feel, soothed, safe, disarmed, calm and relaxed.

He had a remarkable sensuality where he would make you feel pretty, he would arouse you to be soft and light and growing up in the hood there were not many times where you could be feminine, you had to be hard just to stay alive. But those moments with Quincy made you feel alive, magnetic. When he complemented you it was from a genuine place you never felt like he was coming on to you. If he lived long enough I think he would have been attracted to older women because he was way too mature and wise for his age.

Thinking of the excitement Quincy inspirited in me reminds me of the day I first met and saw Indigo. Omg, he was black and he had the most beautiful teeth. I was literally yelling with excitement, ” You are so cute! you are so black!” At first he was looking at me like I was crazy because I was excited as a kid who is the one to hit and bust open the pinata at a party, you know how the kids scream and clamor wildly to get the candy, well that’s how excited I was.

I must have lost my mind with exhiliration because I touched his face with both of my hands, looking back I had completely violated the boy, did I ask him if it was ok to touch him , you already know the answer. As this was happening my best friend was looking at me in complete awe because I don’t like nobody. She started saying, as I’m molesting Indigo’s face. ” You don’t know Indigo? You aint never met him before. Everybody knows him?” And as she watched me she became amused because I am the poster child of mystery, control and aloofness, to witness my wild and out of control behavior -seemed to be heart warming considering I could be an ice queen at times.

Nevertheless, the smile on my face from the complete bliss and joy I felt as soon as I saw him made him return the smile and I had him from that day forward. He was a wild boy and all the girls loved him. Guys used to say, “I don’t know why they love that black ass nigga!” He would have girls fighting and crying over him for years to come. Omg, thinking back,  two of his girlfriends came up to my school to beat my ass over him and that is the day that I learned what my father had meant by “You never know who your friends are to the shit goes down!”

I will tell you about that story another day. Did I tell you Quincy skin was dark chocolate and it looked like God had sealed his completion with lip gloss. Tall, dark and handsome Quincy had the most beautiful smile and the most perfectly placed white teeth. Which brings to mind, this French dude that levatated into my dance class, he had this hat on that was tilted and kind of crumpled on one side, he had on a pair of skinny jeans but not the kind that make you feel like he robbed your closet anyway he had on a complete outfit that reflected who he was. He was blue-black, he had dreads that were so meticulously done that fell past his shoulders, they were jet black and shiny.

When Solo one of the drummers stopped the class to introduce us to him. I looked around and that same enthusiasm that fell on me the day I met Indigo is the same stir that fell on all the ladies in the class yet they tried to contain and control themselves. I hated myself for not yelling, instead, I whisper what everybody was thinking, ” He is  FINE, he can get it!” and the half of the room I was standing on all responded with a” Ookaay!” He was so refined, sophisticated and when he opened his mouth and starting talking with his French accent I wanted to throw a shoe at him! The man looked like a sexy God. I just wanted to dobale right at his feet! Looking around the room, the women were touching their heads as if to say, what the hell am I looking like right now, if I knew we were having company I would have dressed better and combed my hair.

Anyway, he invited us all to a class he was teaching. I didn’t go on purpose for fear that I wouldn’t be able to contain myself! When I first saw Indigo I was too young to know to restrain myself, shit it wasn’t that often that I would get that excited so I refused to hide my feelings. I should have taken his class and given myself permission to be wild and out of control and I’m certain I wouldn’t  have been the only one. I should have enjoyed the way he made me feel knowing full way at any moment in time, he could disappear like so many black boys I had known growing up.

Indigo asked me to marry him when we became adults but with some regret I turned him down and I don’t think he’s ever forgiven me for it.

My contribution to sisterhood


Lips of a Woman with Golden Object --- Image by © Crisco/Corbis


The media machine is so powerful that even when you don’t want to engage or talk about celebrities or  trending subjects you’re almost forced to. I generally try to stay away from the topic of celebrities because a) they got enough money , b) I do not know them personally  and c) it aint my business and they got a right to privacy plus they shit and piss just like the common folks. But hear my clearly, I am sick of people talking about Amber Rose… if I hear one more person knock her or try to discredit her, I swear I am going to slap the shit out of somebody. And the new girl ” it girl” Cardi B is taking some bruises to. I’m sorry but the ability to make a man feel good is priceless and is a commodity.

Folks been bad mouthing and talking bout strippers like they aint shit, until some white chick got on Oprah and swagger jacked  the industry and made pole dancing a trend and a form of exercise…legitimizing it. Now everyday females wont a turn on the pole. It is now being deemed worthy of the status of an Olympic Sport but when Amber, Shanika and even Becky’s are in the club performing for men that aint shit but hoes?

The same way formally and classically trained dancers don’t get the respect they deserve but the Ratbastards in the exercise industry don swagger jacked  “Bar Work” and now there are bar classes (minus all the other elements of dance)  all over  major cities throughout the world. If we put shit where it goes aka tell the truth most if not all these women in these pole classes and bar classes are doing it to get a man or keep a man but somehow Amber Rose aint shit….she dont have no so-called real skills and or assets.. It’s cool to be in a pole class for your husband-to add spice to your relationship (side eye) but it aint cool to be on the pole making it rain for money to sustain your self as a woman.

Stripping and sucking dick to eat, be it a personal choice or a mandate does not negate their value or the value of their services. Rather than all this pussy policing, women especially need to take some notes because if more women would focus on their own feminine powers and the magic of their own pussies instead of hating on the next female, they would have more fulfilled lives. While I have not made the personal choice to strip, I do know strippers personally as well as professional prostitutes and what they all have in common is the ability to make a man feel good! Truth be told we all hoes, we either hoeing to keep our husbands or hoeing to feed our selves and our kids!

If you aint learned to leverage the power of your own pussy….too muthafuckin bad! But don’t take it out of the next female. For instance, not too long ago- I caught the attention of a younger gorgeous frequently sought after man who for whatever reason no woman in this particular circle could get his attention yet some how I did.  I wasn’t trying to get his attention I was simply being myself and a shit storm ensued as to how I was able to get his so-called undivided attention and devotion-I was even accused of throwing juju on the young lion. As if there isn’t a such thing as Mad Sex Appeal? Again more females should take notes from women who are naturally alluring! And all that bullshit about you caint turna hoe into a housewife it just that…..BULLSHIT!

If you ask me: What is one of my natural talents? It is Undeniable that I turn average dudes into superheros! I love a cute boy and have been boy crazy since I was a teenager, now hear me clearly there is a limit in what I will do for to get or keep a man…..I draw the line…….I aint taking penitentiary chances,  fighting another woman over a man is unlawful and against all my personal principles…… losing focus on my goals to keep a man, absolutely not. Do I believe in not being compensated for the value of my work” Fuck you-Pay ME!”

Again, I turn average dudes into superheroes. Case in point, I got a late night call from a male lover in high places saying that he had been unable to sleep for months after a business deal went south and I told him he didn’t need the investors who bailed on him that he could do it himself, he went on to explain that he would be up in the late night hours burning coals and that even his wife had not been able to motivate him they way that I had.

And with the most breathy excited whisper he told me, ” You have inspirational pussy!” Now mind you we have not be lovers for years, since he had gotten married I served as his clandestine advisor. He spoke so passionately saying whenever he thought of me, it motivated him to get things done to make his dreams come true.  He went on to elaborate on the specific words I had used and he began to explain the steps he had been taking. He had secretly taken action and his project was almost finished and would soon be ready to launch. Is he the only man calling to confess my words have impact that the strategies and tactics I had given him had worked successfully absolutely not!

As I begin, to recount these types of incidents have been happening for years. Recently after hosting an event and party, I was detained for a moment in order to express deep gratitude , as I was being dropped off at my car after hosting and catering to some diplomats, their liaison said, that he was so impressed with the ease of my domestic goddess skills and even more remarkable was the joy he said he felt from me as I anticipated their every need.

I simply told him, it was the way I was raised and since they were all such gentleman and neither of them were demanding I received great pleasure from waiting on them hand and foot. Little did he know that I had begun to master the art of hospitality, men and service by the time I was 4 years old. What I do know is my hospitality skills are unmatched and I seek no outside credibility to say without humbleness, I am one of the greatest when it comes to making a man feel good and motivating him to be a better man for himself and if another women benefits I feel it’s my contribution to sisterhood.

One of the luxuries that I have had is being the only girl and the advantage of being the only girl is not having anyone else to compete with now match that with being first. It’s been pretty easy to learn and understand men.  One of the good things in having been taught the art of men by my  father was not competing with other women so I wasn’t programmed to view other women as a threat. There was no need for comparisons because as my father so poetically would tell me, “She caint do what you can do and you can’t do what she can do so there’s no competition.” And without restraint he would continuously remind me, ” That every girl has a pussy regardless if she is cute or ugly!”


3 insights in correcting self-sabotage



I decided to use the Cambridge Online Dictionary definition of deprivation as a reference for this post because the King’s English was more precise. It means, an absence or too little of something important. It was also defined as, a  situation in which you do not have things or conditions that are usually considered necessary for a pleasant life.

In contrast self-deprivation means the voluntary denial or suppression of one’s own interests or desire according to the Oxford Dictionary Online. Where am I going with all of this? I can only recall all the Gap Analysis I’ve done in the past to try to connect the dots to come up with solutions. Ultimately I would think the result would be satisfaction. So how do you get from deprivation and or self-deprivation to satisfaction. We cannot get to a place of satisfaction without addressing and eliminating our self-sabotaging behaviors and patterns.

The old saying that we are our own worst enemies is so true but more importantly if we do not know the root causes of our mental issues and the behaviors that manifest from them then how are we going to become mentally well. It’s all kinds of shit out here to sedate you, to keep you in a trance, to keep you fucked up but where’s a place you can go to discharge some of this negative energy, the aggression that builds up from suppressing your real selves, from wearing masks, from tolerating and dealing with bullshit just to get through the day.

I think there needs to be a place where you can go to-to Break shit, a place to cry, to weep and moan, a scream room to scream and let shit out, a pillow room where you can pillow fight until you’re physically exhausted, a place where you can take bats to cars, bust out windows, smash the hood, a place to break and throw plates, a boxing ring where you can knuckle up and guard your grill to get some aggression off and say who wants next…..we got gyms to get our bodies tight and right, while our minds linger, in distress, pain, agony, anger, resentment, hatred, unforgiveness, and fear because too many of us are sleep deprived, water deprived in the form of dehydration, sexually deprived….aint been touched right or fucked right in years and months rather we married or single and we wonder why we aint no good to ourselves!

It’s time to whip are minds in shape. I’m all about the positive, however, there is a such thing as too much light. Never forget out of darkness comes light and through death and destruction comes new life and regeneration so if shit got to get a little grimy and dirty for things to get better I’m with it. If you are tired of feeling helpless and powerless, take some action to get your mind right to end self-sabotage so that you can become your own best friend and fall in love with yourself.

For all the folks, who just caint be still and don’t really get all the new age shit about meditating, I dedicate the following video below to you. We gon end this 5150 crazy and learn to be haha crazy!