all the ways to love

13 Nov 2014, Belgrade, Serbia --- Love spelled with flowers --- Image by © Blend Images/Corbis


I found this wonderful brother named Ebrahim Aseem‘s blog called Real News and all I can say is this vanilla wafer complexioned man softens any and all parts of my heart that have been calcified due to heartbreak. While I love his views about relationships, Iyanla Vanzant‘s words ring in my head but none so powerfully than HBCUGRD commentary.

” I want a genuine safe relationship. But I also want complete sovereignty. I don’t want to live in the confines of traditional social expectations”-HBCUGRD. As Zo Williams says, ” I can smoke a bag of that!”

One of the reasons why I created my Disclaimer page is because folks can get real ignorant about other people’s opinions and choices and so I wanted to set the tone and stage for providing a safe place and space for people because often times than not in relationships- be it marriage, family blood ties or friendship these relationships are not soft places to land if we are being honest.

The other thing that sparked my interest is the idea of having to be perfect and deemed successful before being able to provide guidance and or give advice. If you aint been through nothing and or haven’t faced any challenges than how are you going to be able to provide a testimony? One of the things that I find so fascinating about some religious folks is there obstinate and resistance to people who’ve had colorful lives less just say and I love to remind them that the good book was filled with shady characters with checkered past yet somehow Jesus loved to keep company with these outcasts and misfits.

A heart of marigolds --- Image by © Johanna von Aesch/the food passionates/Corbis

Since I am able to honor and hold space for beauty and vulgarity at the same time and am aware that they are not mutually exclusive it brings to mind the idea of black love being a revolutionary act. It takes courage to love!

Never the less, where ever you fall on the spectrum I can only ask that as individuals we learn to create genuine safe spaces in relating to one another. And for those of you who have lost faith in Love ask God by whatever name you call him/her and if you pray to yourself because you have no reason to believe in anything higher than yourself than ask yourself to show you what love looks like so that you will never be confused, that you will be able to identify what it looks like in action, words and deeds and baby-you gon see, learn and know- if you have the courage to ask.



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