Monthly archives "June 2016"

How to get out of your head & into your body



black people dancing: Spanish dance

I have had to learn how to talk to myself. I have had to change my mind and how I think. I intellucally know my tongue has power, however, in many cases I am fragmented, which makes it a challenge to safe guard my mind, body and spirit.

I have a good body, it is healthy, although, I could stand to lose a few pounds. My negative self talk is no longer a motivator and considering I am a professionally trainer dancer it’s not like I do not know what to do, to get in shape. So what’s wrong?

My body is soft in many places, toned in other but the idea that my entire body needs to be rock hard bothers me. That my body would have to mirror my mind, that it needs and has to be strong.

There are days that I want to be soft, and pink, light and fluffy, girly, wild and free. I want to where slippers not for someone to come rescue me but so my feet won’t feel so heavy. No matter the style or fit of the shoe I am wearing-I feel like I am literally always in combat boots that I can never take them off for fear I won’t be ready for the defense or the offense. Cause the shit don’t stop!

I have slowly returned to the embrace of my loving and faithful mistress and she has promised to be gentle. She knows that we are co-creators and she needs me just as much as I need her. However, I cannot be in oposition or resistance to her. I must be completely open in order to receive and in return my sensuality and feminity flows like a river. When I dance I cannot think so I am out of my head. Constantly being in my head is destructive to my body.

Being in my body- listening to my body,  reminds me of why I am longing to be soft. My mistress reminds me that I must surrender to be soft, to surrender would mean that I would have to be vulnerable open, spacious, expansive.

When the drum calls, my feet and my body respond and when I let go and surrender completely the drummer and the dancer become one and you can literally transcend space and time and experience what can only be described as being high.

Manbo’s mud pies and the 9 line!



Beyoncé makes lemonade, Goddesses like me make bone soup, some Enchanters make rock soup and Magical Manbos make mud pies. It really bothers me that the media is so powerful that even when you would prefer a topic not to be in your head you simply can’t help it-they force you to take notice. And so I am discussing  Lemonade and  Beyoncé.

Although I fought talking about this subject because a) we already know what a is because I discussed in the first paragraph, b) as far as I know I do not believe Beyoncé herself has critiqued her own artistry of her visual Lemonade album, c) after being unable to uplift myself using a series of white female perspectives and activities I turned to bell hooks and Cornell West, d) after watching Cornell and bell flirt like Tango dancers  as they discussed real black issues I was led to a video by a smart, funny ass, brilliant minded black female reading bell hooks about her critique of Beyoncé’s Lemonade and e) and after reflecting on Danielle Laporte’s response about black women’s suffering -I  had to weigh in.

Since ” feminism is fluid” as the new term states the one thing that remains fluid is the difficulty in black female and male relationships and as bell hooks addressed in one of her lectures; she admitted to not being able to help her sister find a practical and adequate way of dealing with her husband’s disrespectful behavior as he often tells her to ” Shut Up!” Although  bell hooks is the leading black feminist she had to admit while feminism had great theories which she herself is famous for writing about, however, she could not help her sister with her dilemma. With all the ” Movements” in black history, the push for education instead of liberation can we be so surprised about the hoopla over the way Beyoncé’s Lemonade album is being consumed.

What I find ironic, is how so many black males who are labeled ” Thugs”  so much resemble the prolific Jay Z in manners, language and swagger yet black hood love is not exalted in the same way Jay and Bee’s love is. There is much disdained received by the black women who choose to love them and the lack of support from the black community for everyday regular folk black love. How often do we question the constant judgment and jealousy received by these men who are told that they are undeserving of a “Good Girl” makes me question the education of  the so-called feminist cheering for the salvation of a woman clearly in love with a black thug, somewhat contradictory and seemly not a practical application of the code of feminism or its theories.

For example, Ciara (whom many label a hoodgirl) whose beautiful, talented , accomplished and smart has been so disrespected for getting ready to be wifed up  by Russell Wilson. Somehow, Ciara has been tainted by having had an intimate relationship and a child with Future, that somehow Future ain’t shit for having several children with different women. Yet, Beyoncé isn’t ridiculed for Jay Z’s ( as Benita Butrell would say I ain’t the one to gossip so you ain’t it from me) supposed secret oldest love child who looks just like his ass! (Streets be talkin!, why you bullshitn!)

I’m confused -Russell Wilson is too good for Ciara (even though he’s a divorced man),  that Ciara by default does not deserved to be loved and or supported by a man least of all a ” Good Man!” Does anyone see the schizophrenia in all of this? Queen Bee’s marriage is sanctioned and celebrated to a black man who if his name weren’t Jay Z would without a doubt be labeled a “Thug”.  Am I saying this with judgment-absolutely not cause I’ve loved and liked a so-called undeserving black men myself- I’m just addressing the crazy making behavior and again addressing the issue of ” Whose deserving of Love? Whose deserving of money? Whose deserving of sex? Whose deserving of success? Whose deserving of being sanctioned and validated? Whose worthy? And who are the worthy makers?” What defines a Good Man and what are the true qualifications for a ain’t shit nigga cause the lines seemed to be blurred if one is following pop culture?

And while we pin point the worthy makers, let me address the new romanticism of the Orishas that many black folks new to the culture are pushing ( cuz hear me clearly when I was growing up black folks as a whole wasn’t checking for Africa and if I were to count all the times I was told I was going to hell, plus all the African Booty Scratchers I was called from the young  to the elderly makes me give the side eye while I wind my ass to Drakes new song with the Afrobeat but that’s another story)  without the full understanding that they ain’t for sale  and at the same time ” ain’t no free lunch!” as the economist say and that they have the full range of complexities of humans so please believe when you start calling the Orishas’ names you have to start putting in  and doing the work to be healed  because ain’t no waiting to be rescued or blaming somebody else for the choices that you make and they all know whose on the 9 line standing next to you that the eyes caint see- making everybody deserving!