Monthly archives "October 2016"

How does math and numbers relate to LOSING?

Today parents are way more fucked up than previous generations. Take ‘Play Dates’, for example, back in the day your kids going to spend time with another kid and their family meant that you got the chance to have time to yourself, it was free daycare, a time of respite for mothers. How do you fuck that up? Easy!……. by feeling the need to entertain another mother just so kids can play together.??? The Old Heads had it right!

I’m dropping my kid off for the allotted time and I am going to go enjoy myself and in return you can do the same at a later date but am I going to give up my free time and adult fun to hangout with you and your kid, hell naw because your invitation may be my only chance for free time if I haven’t been savvy enough to make sure I stay at the top of the food chain!

The fucking cuddling, over doing and giving to children does not prepare children for real life. The everybody gets a trophy, everybody is a winner approach is complete bullshit and getting a trophy after you have clearly lost does not take the pain and sting out of losing because LOSING FUCKIN SUCKS!!!!! I hate trophies, I hate certificates and I hate titles because they do not have any real meaningful value for ME!

Did it ever occur to reward people with things that have real meaning and value to them? You can give the person who likes a trophy a trophy and me a check……I can do something with a check and not a trophy but I digress! Giving trophies even in the face of Losing just makes children delusional! And because so many of us have not been taught how to WIN, we in turn do not know how to teach our own children to WIN!! In real life you will experience  victories and failures and they are both equally important.

The problem comes when we experience way more losing than winning, way more failures than successes ……….So how does being afraid of math and numbers relate to losing??? Somewhere along the line we get scared of Math and Numbers, somehow they become like monsters in the closet, they become things that you don’t want to look at. The truth is -Math- is the truth and numbers don’t lie however, people can and will manipulate numbers in favor for their own personal outcomes. If you have been Losing consistently for long periods of times it’s time to look at the Numbers.

50 YEARS IS JUST 2,500  WEEKENDS!!!!!!!

50 YEARS IS JUST 2,500 WEEKENDS!!!!!!!

50 YEARS IS JUST 2,500 WEEKENDS!!!!!!! 

With this reality and number in mind do we have time to be people pleasing, do we have time to be auditioning for roles and parts that we do not want, do we have time to keep doing and giving with little to no returns on our investments?? Now I found this video and if you are a female I want you to be open to consider applying whatever you think resonates with you. Although it may appear- at first he is speaking from a male perspective. However, if you actively listen……he is speaking from a human perspective.

How you became a Loser Magnet!

Have you ever been on a job and you did most of the work and as a result,  the company exceeded all their bottom line goals. The Sales Team and Managers all received bonuses each time goals were met. He’ll you even worked so hard your work helped get one sales person in your department the Employee of the Year Award with an all exclusive paid trip to New York City with a week stay at the Waldorf Astoria Hotel. And after a year or more of exceeding sales goals from your supporting role they call you in the office and tell you-you didn’t do shit and offer you a .14 cent raise. What would you do?

When I think of this and many other times that black women do more than everybody but seldom reap the benefits-I wonder how Venus and Serena Williams feel when they changed the game and the look of tennis, looking juicy and fabulous while they whooped everybody asses only to watch  Losers being compensated handsomely while Venus and Serena monetary compensations, the respect and admiration for their skills are met with the same shit many black females receive from over working and outperforming all the while looking like they stepped off the pages of Vanity Africa only to be brought into offices to receive  bad reviews, no respect and poor compensation while everybody else stay winning off her hard work.  Never in the history of tennis and fashion have more money been made than when these two sisters took over but they might as well had been offering the Williams sisters the same funky ass .14 cents they offered my girl.

My entire life I had been socialized that I had to be 2 times better than white girls, that I had to work twice as hard as white girls to even be considered for the same opportunities and while I had to be better than white folks I also had to serve black men and the community as a moral obligation to the race. Well after out working and outperforming all the white folks on my jobs (both male & female) and after having become an Olympic Gold Medalist Servant. Yes you heard that right if they had an Olympics for serving and catering to muthafuckas I would be a world renown champion 10 times over!

Now hear me clearly no matter how well I was trained to serve I draw the line, I ain’t co-signing for shit, putting a negro through school, paying child support for a dude, I ain’t paying a negroes rent or mortgage, I ain’t buying a negro a car or other outlandish things women do for men that are not their husbands (When I was 19 I let my boyfriend who later became my husband, yes please give me the side eye drive my car and that negro was picking up girls and taking them on dates) Contrary to popular belief, the Hood has value-some lessons you learn growing up in the hood you ain’t gone git nowhere else that are worth their weight in gold!

The day I saw Terry drop them dawn kids of her off on the curb wit they clothes in trash bags with the warm embrace and smile from their father as she peeled off hitting the corner on two tires I learned then that ain’t nobody gone give you a break you got to get it yourself without asking for permission cause people like to keep you in position where you constantly losing and they winning!

With this in mind, I  have been trying to find a transformational resource for women who suffer from being a Nice Girl, stuck in the Good Girl Complex not having fun, not getting what they want. He’ll not even being aware of what they want besides the things society tells a woman she should want or need.  I wanted to find a resource for women who languished in deprivation who had been socialized to worship men and take care of men often times getting nothing in return but heartache, headaches, and lowered  self-esteem!  I wanted to find an aunt who had lived long enough who would finally tell the truth so that we could finally- be winning since most females are kept in their places only to be taught how to be loser magnets by their own mothers, other women and their family members!


Milk and Honey, wara ati fun oyin



Love will let nothing stop it from achieving its purpose-The Sacred Forest



Iya (EEyah)=Mother

Yeye (Yeah Yeah)=Mother

Baba (Baa-Baa)=Father



Wara ati fun oyin: Prayer for Love and Peace

Iya of Love- please let my cries be significant to your ears for you are the one who responds quickly and effectively so that prayers are answered. Yeye although my earthly mother forsakes me- I am certain I can find solace and a soothing place in your bosom- Iya. For you are the protector of the poor, the mother of all orphans. When my cries for love and nourishment are ignored by the woman who carried me in her womb may you bring me laughter, lightness and abundance. May I attract love joy and prosperity.  With each step that I take toward my destiny may honey drip from my feet as I dance resistance and obstinance into extinction and meet complete cooperation and always be met with words of, ” What would you like me to do for you!” Ase

Baba of Peace-make me clearheaded so my heart remains fearless and beats as if it were a dancing feather so that I will embody patience. May patience and I become friends, may we mirror each other like twins. Give me clarity so that wisdom remains with me throughout my journeys and so I will feel safe and secure. May I be witnessed as patience so that I may gain attention and favor! Ase

Place as much honey as you think you will need in a gallon, a pint, a quart, a cup of milk or however much you decide you need. Shake well. Be careful not to let the milk be too cold or else it will give you a headache when you pour it unto your head. Contain the drippings off your head and hair, place a plastic cap on your hair and wrap your head in white. You can wrap it in a towel, a t-shirt, or white cloth. Leave it on for minutes, hours or overnight! You decide. Rinse out. Shampoo and style as usual. (Be careful getting the liquid in the eyes because honey stings)