I am not standing in line to spend time with anybody!

 

 

I have an extremely busy Man Friend named Jay who is a Director and Producer in Hollywood; whose schedule is mad crazy and busy. He is constantly traveling all over the nation and world for business and pleasure. Although he is very busy, at some point and time I let him know that it was important to me that he make time for our relationship. I was patient in the beginning of our friendship when he allowed his schedule to dictate rather or not we spent time together.

 

I told him at some point I understood his hectic schedule, however if we were going to continue to be friends then we would have to work something out amongst ourselves that fully met the needs of us both.And so we started scheduling dates and times when we would have conversations. Depending on how long it had been since we had spoken on the phone our conversations would be scheduled for 30 minutes to an hour.

 

At first it seemed odd to schedule a date and time to dialogue with a friend, however after time, it became easy and I looked forward to talking to him. In between our scheduled talks we began setting face to face dates in advance. Opening up may calendar and blocking off time with Jay began to make me feel special and our time together is always fun and relaxing even though we are not in a romantic relationship.

 

When I made the declaration that I wanted to have a give and take relationship and that him being present was a requirement in order for our friendship to blossom.  I let him know that I needed to talk to him and spend time with him and while I understood his schedule was busy……I refused to accept it as an excuse as to why we could not talk and spend time together. Once I made the declaration, he asked me to get my calendar out and we planned our first scheduled conversation and our first scheduled lunch date where I agreed to have lunch with him at his desk and from there things have taken off!

 

Again planning a telephone conversation seems odd at first however over time it becomes fun and relaxing, it gives us time to miss each other so when we do talk it’s effortless. And when we schedule face to face meetings each time we see each it’s always at a new and different location and we reveal more and more of ourselves because it feels safe! ” You either have results or excuses!”, says Veronica Conway. And she is correct! Ask for what you want and need in any relationship be it romantic, friendship or family. And if a date, time and place are not set rather it is made in the future or the spot than you run the risk of not getting what you want or need.

 

I am not waiting in line to spend time with anybody….I don’t give a fuck who they are….. mama, daddy, brother, sister, cousin, friend or lover….. From time to time I like to share the pick up artist  and Iceberg Slim chicanery because dudes be winning! So why settle on waiting and losing, when you can write your own rules!

 

 

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