Published: 159 articles

Something to look forward to???


I grew up with land lines and pay phones. The times when folks had to call your house to get in touch with you. When 3 or more people could answer the phone at once depending on how many phones were in the house. ūüė©Which at times could be embarrassing.

At any point in time your mother could pick up the phone and declare, ” get off the phone!” You could be talking on the phone for hours and the operator would call with an emergency break through cuz yo mama been at work trying to call your ass to make sure you’re safe.

This was a time before helicopter parenting, we don’t want you to experience any pain or adversity took over. When you put on roller skates and hit the ground hard so your ass learned how to keep your balance quickly!

Now they got the po kids on walkers at the roller skating rink. With parents pushing they new borns in strollers. What type of bullshit and fuckery is this? Kids got plenty of time to be using walkers…it’s called old age.

And why the fuck can’t children have their own spaces. What happened to the rights of passages for events and stages and phases. Imagine if the children were allowed to fall. How quickly would they learn to skate so they could feel the cool breeze in their faces?

Its gon take them forever with yo grown ass pushing your 2 month old on the skating room floor. How bout you move your ass off the floor and you and the younger sibling who can’t skate yet…give the kid that can…there time to play and shine so that the younger sibling has something to look forward to when they get that age!

Something to look forward to..remember that?

Times can change however children deserve to have the right to play, learn and grow without adults occupying their spaces, trying to make up for whatever they felt they lacked as children. Give children their freedom to play!

Hell give your grown ass the space and permission to play independently of structure. As the old heads used to say, ” go outside and play!”

Remember the days when nobody couldn’t find your ass until you came home? Remember when your life was private and your friends were separate? Cuz you had separate friends for specific things to meet specific needs?

But that’s a whole netha topic. Oh but it brings back memories of when I had them in heavy rotation! Do your know what ” heavy rotation ” is? Baybee, it’s the time of your life! Again, that’s another story. Ha






New rules: Mistresses have to work for dick


At some point in marriages, many wives find out that their husband’s are cheating on them and in most circumstances the marriages don’t end.¬†I feel if you are married to an average man who is working for a living and does not have Bill Gates money, NBA money, Wall Street money, Nascar money, Kevin Hart money¬†and they have the gall and nerve to get side pussy, a side chick, a mistress, a side bitch whatever her pet name is….she owe the wife¬†compensation cause she is stealing resources that are already limited!

And any wife that is working with a husband with limited resources is already being stretched to the max. The fact that these hoes don’t send home Trader Joe Cards, Target Cards and or a line of credit to Sear’s to replace the washing machine that is about to break down at any moment is just egregious!

Do these hoes ever think to send a Uber to get the kids to school in the morning cuz the wife is completely burnt out? Do these broads know that your husband looks like a brand new shiny penny cuz you take care of this negro like you a dawn spa attendant  at a day spa?

Do they know they really in love with you because anything he knows about sophistication you taught him…..the joker couldn’t even dress when you met him but now¬†these trollups¬†running around with your husband as her arm candy and trophy without breaking a sweat other than when she’s on her back fucking your man-while you been down with him like fo flat tires for decades.

Tips on how to get compensation from your husband’s mistress


P.S.  For those stay out home moms who seldom get to have an adult conversation with someone other than other moms and or wives I invite you to celebrate something new like




Bubble Gums



” Mom you’re a weirdo!” If I had a dollar for every time my children said that to me I’d be rich! My Ex has called me that so many times since we were teenagers. And I have to remind him that he likes “weirdos”. So as long as I’ve been labeled a ¬†weirdo…why am I so disappointed that I have been waiting for months in anticipation to attend this conference coming up next week.

And so when I sent an email to the contact person to register I received a number to call to register. Now mind, you as I looked deeply at the flyer on the text-there was something peculiar about the flyer-something that reeked of ” weirdo!’. Nevertheless, I continued to move forward.

Now some time or another I missed a phone call from the organization so I called the number back from my voicemail messages and as I was leaving a message a new call was coming in.¬†I clicked over and placed my voicemail response on hold because no one picked up the phone when I returned the organization’s call…¬†only to click over and Stoney- let’s call him was on the line.

As we spoke- his voice began to slightly annoy me, he sounded like a serial killer…you know like on Silence of the Lambs when he says

And as much as I wanted to sound upbeat and personal I began to make this scene in my head a comedy!¬†As I looked closer, to the name of the organization¬†I had a flash back to my initial contact with this organization and its clientage. And in that moment, I became deeply disappointed that I had been waiting in anticipation for the day of the event to come. Only to realize I would be spending the day with a bunch of ” weirdos!”

I could hear my Yeye in my head saying, ” You got a lot of nerves!” What?- I thought, I’m not that kind of weirdo, hell I didn’t except that I was a ” weirdo” at all. These folks went beyond ” weirdo” they were¬†more like ” creepy”

So that’s it…. you can still be cool and weird? But ” creepy”….there is nothing cool about “creepy”. So what got me out of my funky mood? The comment I left on Marie Forleo’s¬†newest post about negative thoughts. You can’t stay mad or disappointed at Velcro…its way too tacky and weird. Reminiscing, on my first pair of Bubble Gums with Velcro closings almost had me peeing on myself!

For those of you who know what Bubble Gums are you know they are LMAO funny!

Omg, I was on Urban Dictionary¬†and the latest terms for Bubble Gums¬†are eye-opening! The definition I’m referring to is #13

Where is Psalm?




For months I had noticed Psalm’s absence. I noticed that I had not heard from her and I thought it was strange. I had gone into an¬†unexpected cocoon. I found out yesterday that she had died at the beginning of Spring only a month after we had spent a blissful afternoon during one of her intimate workshop’s. She was powerful and beautiful!

Yesterday, as I watched the¬†” Creepshow” aka the news explaining that Vincent¬†was found murdered in his own¬†home my brain finally¬†connected and I realized¬†Vincent was connected¬†to my life-all I could think about was how we¬†were supposed to have lunch together but never did. And who would want to kill¬†Vincent? Thinking about Vincent…¬†the voice that I had ignored for months became louder! ” Where is Psalm?” I was shocked to learn that she had committed suicide.

I wondered how I missed this, not just not knowing the passing of her death because I wouldn’t ¬†know because I became too present in my my own life to be engaged in anyone elses’. Not to mention, the day before her death and on her death my father and I had unearthed what I had buried deep inside myself… after what felt like…pulling a ski-mask off a robber. I pretended that I only saw the face that he presented to the world.

And once his identity had been revealed I went into hidng because for once in my life I was going to rest and allow myself to be taken care of.  As a result, I spent over 64 days in seclusion and although I had been raised in the same house as my father the explosion that ensued after I had unmasked him unnerved him to the point of ultimate control and dominance! Except this time I felt compelled to hold his feet to the fire!

It had been too long that he had been enabled to be¬†indulged and neglected at the same time which resulted in him not being able to feel anything for anybody else other than himself and like a bad ass kid I had found it time that he had to stand in front of the ultimate man and¬† answer for all his bullying. The idea that escaping marriage¬†but draining women meant¬†he could just simply walk away without having to answer to anyone….except I was¬†born a female….a woman who carried his last name….a woman with power.


” Do you understand that I carry your last name? Do you understand that I have legal rights to you? Did you think that you escaped having to answer or be benevolent to anyone other than yourself?”

And as I said, these things, he looked as if he saw a ghost. In that moment, we had swapped positions and I spoke to him as he had always spoken to me- as if I were his property- as if he owned me- making me never wanting to be owned. And as the shift in power happened, I could see the fear in his eyes.  I knew he was devastated and helpless because his actions were all defensive because he ultimately felt powerless and feared the power of women.

I had never wanted to treat my father as a man….I always wanted to treat him as a God even though he feared the¬†Goddess is me! My father is my greatest teacher! And being my greatest teacher meant he had to learn that I could not or would not be possessed or own by No Man because it was always my birth right to be free.

The fear that we have to hold someone captive to love is completely insane. Give me room to come and go as I please and I promise you that I will forever return to you without being gone too long that your heart begins to ache.

So, how could I have seen Psalm’s death coming or the moment it came. I was expecting to see her¬† again to build with her. I have no idea why so many wild, free spirited women¬†lose the desire to live¬†or go on- as if- they finally succumb from what feels like slave catchers always on your heels to bring you back to slavery and being unwilling to return… they rejoin the spirit world.

In loving memory to Jill, Tee, Evangeline and Psalm.

Jell Bridges can get it!


Image result for Jeff Bridges Against All Odds


I want to say that before I can even start to discuss all of the twists and turns and ultimate shenanigans that are my life. I must start with one of my recent grounding experiences. Ok, so if you read enough of my posts you know that I love Pasty Cline and Jessica Lange.

Now I am not sure when I fell in love with Jeff Bridges but what I will say is he comes from some dawn good genes.¬†He’s got a beautiful head of hair. Please do not kill my vibe by trying to say, it’s fake! Anyway, he has been married for 40 years to the same woman. The man’s got great genes and staying power!

Again, I cannot recall when I fell in love with him on-screen because he has had so many great performances. With that in mind, I went to go see his new movie ” The only living¬†boy in New York ” and it was worth the dawn near $20 it cost me to see the movie and that did not include popcorn or the parking fee.¬†Oh dawn, I am not supposed to complain about how much money I spend on anything because it’s a taboo.

Speaking, of taboo, the movie was filled with them and each one¬†excited me more than the other.¬†I must digress for a moment, because I almost let one of these critics ruin my date with myself¬†and the delight my eyes danced to as I watched the movie.¬†Apparently,¬†the critic was not a grown ass adult. Nevertheless,¬†I only read the headline and kept¬†it pushin’.

The movie is in limited theatres so I had to go all the way to Hollywood to see the dawn thing. Somehow, with less than 40 minutes to spare I managed to get to Hollywood on time ( the traffic Gods must have been watching).

I will not give away the movie. I will say again-¬†that this movie is for grown ass folks. So please treat yourself to¬†Jeff Bridges’ new movie, ” The only living¬†boy in New York”. Jeff Bridges has aged like fine wine….he is a super supreme ” Cat Daddy” and he can get it….no disrespect to his wife!


Be back soon

I have been on some pretty wild adventures since the end of March. Most of them unbelievable, however I must admit that is the rhythm of my life where wild things are constantly happening.

There are seldom and rarely dull moments in my life. That being said, while things have come down to a slower pace I will be bringing you up to speed in the coming weeks.

And as I write this post I think of the word resilience and an old song comes to mind from someone I had not thought about in years and when I think of her I think of what it means to have grace under fire!

They tried to dog and humiliate My girl when she became Ms. America!

Hook-ups gone wild!

Hook-ups gone wild and or wrong seems to be the theme for many women who are sexually active. I myself struggled for many years preferring sex over intimacy.¬†¬†Because I had a fear of commitment that was rooted in childhood. As a result of being treated as property or as if I were an object¬†– along with various other events in my life- made me want to always have men at a distance. It was terrible that I wanted to run…that panic would set in after spending 2 days with a man and I literally would want to jump out of my skin.

Even if I ¬†was madly in love with my¬†a man- I still couldn’t quail the anxiety I would feel when he wanted to be close and affectionate towards me on a deep level.¬†Who knew my brain was being high-jacked? My brain and body felt men were unsafe and they both had good reason to believe so. With this in mind, I have a book recommendation that I feel needs to read by any woman who struggles to allow men to be close to her, although she will have sex with them.

Read, “Having Sex, Wanting Intimacy” Why women settle for one-sided relationships, by Jill P. Weber


Can you fuck your way to having?

Denumbing the vagina-Kim Anami

Crystal Vibrators

Assume you can ask for anything

Assume you can ask for anything_ L Babcock & S Laschever


Let’s do an experiment, start asking for things you would never normally ask for things from the smallest to the most audacious. Do it for a minimum of 21 days and record your findings.


The 1st step toward having!


‚ÄúWomen (…) have been encouraged since they were children to be dependent to an unhealthy degree. Any woman who looks within knows that she was never trained to be comfortable with the idea of taking care of herself, standing up for herself, asserting herself. At best she may have played the game of independence, inwardly envying the boys (and later the men) because they seemed so naturally self-sufficient.

It is not nature that bestows this self-sufficiency on men; it’s training. Males are educated for independence from the day they are born. Just as systematically, women are taught that they have an out – that someday, in some way, they are going to be saved. That is the fairy tale, the life-message (…) We may venture out on our own for a while. We may go away to school, work, travel; we may even make good money, but underneath it all there is a finite quality to our feelings about independence. Only hang on long enough, the childhood story goes, and someday someone will come along to rescue you from the anxiety of authentic living. (The only savior the boy learns about is himself.)‚ÄĚ
‚Äē Colette Dowling, The Cinderella Complex: Women’s Hidden Fear of Independence




‚ÄúWhy are women so fearful? The answer to that question lies at the root of The Cinderella Complex. (…) Many women achieve a certain amount of success in their careers and professions and still remain inwardly insecure. In fact (…), it’s remarkable how many women these days retain a hidden core of self doubt while performing on the outside as if they were towers of confidence. (…)
Lack of confidence seems to follow us from childhood (…) No matter how fiercely we try to live like adults – flexible, powerful and free – that girl-child hangs on (…). The effects of such insecurity are widespread, and they result in a disturbing social phenomenon: women in general tend to function well below the level of their native abilities. For reasons that are both cultural and psychological – a system that doesn’t really expect a great deal from us, in combination with our own personal fears of standing up and facing the world – women are keeping themselves down.‚ÄĚ
‚Äē Colette Dowling, The Cinderella Complex: Women’s Hidden Fear of Independence