Category "Bullshit Aint Nothin But Chewed Up Grass and Cows Do Even Want It"

New rules: Mistresses have to work for dick

 

At some point in marriages, many wives find out that their husband’s are cheating on them and in most circumstances the marriages don’t end. I feel if you are married to an average man who is working for a living and does not have Bill Gates money, NBA money, Wall Street money, Nascar money, Kevin Hart money and they have the gall and nerve to get side pussy, a side chick, a mistress, a side bitch whatever her pet name is….she owe the wife compensation cause she is stealing resources that are already limited!

And any wife that is working with a husband with limited resources is already being stretched to the max. The fact that these hoes don’t send home Trader Joe Cards, Target Cards and or a line of credit to Sear’s to replace the washing machine that is about to break down at any moment is just egregious!

Do these hoes ever think to send a Uber to get the kids to school in the morning cuz the wife is completely burnt out? Do these broads know that your husband looks like a brand new shiny penny cuz you take care of this negro like you a dawn spa attendant  at a day spa?

Do they know they really in love with you because anything he knows about sophistication you taught him…..the joker couldn’t even dress when you met him but now these trollups running around with your husband as her arm candy and trophy without breaking a sweat other than when she’s on her back fucking your man-while you been down with him like fo flat tires for decades.

Tips on how to get compensation from your husband’s mistress

 

P.S.  For those stay out home moms who seldom get to have an adult conversation with someone other than other moms and or wives I invite you to celebrate something new like

Hey hey! It's #worldjollofriceday2017 🇬🇭🤘🏾💦💋 can I get sum??

A post shared by Kenya Stevens (@jujumama) on

 

 

 

If the shoe fits then wear it in LaLa Land!

 

 

 

 

“Folks suffer from delusions of grandeur!”_YeYe

 

 

I have not been able to write because I have been inundated in an attempt to indoctrinate me into the bullshit shit circus that has spawned since President Donald Trump took office! As often as I have received blank stares or the I am not so sure of what to make of this statement that has been hurled  directly and indirectly at me from white women, ” I don’t envy you”, as a direct response to me explaining my trial and tribulations as a black woman in America, sitting across from my white female counterpart in a professional setting, let me quantify that-a private-professional setting, my gaze became blank because as she started to cry, she said, “All hope was lost!” because Hillary had lost the election!

I didn’t know quite what to make of her reaction and the reaction of so many others after the election. Since I had not put my hope in either one of them. I had the raw knowing that because we shared the same genitals, did not mean we shared the same values or saw the world from the same lens. I had chosen to sit this one out purposely because it felt like a familiar statement both directly and symbolically was being asked of me….. ” What foot do you want cut off your left or your right?”

And since I had once been asked this question upon something being done for me as a supposed favor and me being ignorant to the process, it seemed that I had put myself in a bind for not knowing the stakes at hand or the game being played and as much as I wanted to keep both feet- I had to make a choice and while the shit hurt, I appreciated the candor from the man holding my future in his hands. I didn’t literally lose a foot yet I paid a heavy price for not knowing what a so called favor was going to cost me!

And so as I sat this one out and had done a great job of not getting caught up in the Frey. After Donald Trump won, the onslaught began and as I began to rubber neck, I could not believe all the things I was seeing and hearing so much of the shit was so outlandish it was like a coon fest and a clown show and since I was a student of the theatre I knew many had underestimated the brilliance of the Court Jester and his role and significance in society and so I knew he was going to win despite me actively deciding not to engage!

Watching the scenes unfold after the acts had taken place one could see the genius in the mad satire and as enthralling as it was I wanted to remain un-hijacked by the emotional storm of  such crafted scripts of one of the greatest Antagonist in American history! That being said,  I want folks to stop sending me shit that he does and says. Nothing he says or does shocks me because historically Negros tell it like it is and growing up in the family I did, we put shit on the table so you couldn’t be confused or surprised where a muthafucka stood and I ain’t even added the street code and ethics!

See these are some the same folks who ain’t ever been interested in politics or policies and how they effect other people. I’ve been out in these streets advocating for better everything and at the end of the day when you do not get the support needed to sustain making communities vibrant you just get burnt out and sit the fuck down because dealing with apathetic muthafuckas waiting on somebody else to come save they asses just becomes too heart breaking and enough is enough already.

The fact that LaLa Land the movie is such a great hit speaks to the state that most people had been in until The Grandmaster of Chaos began his official political campaign and how anyone that has currently been kicked in the teeth feels blindsided makes me give the side eye. Where the fuck y’all been?

At what point did Mexicans fall asleep? Did they collectively forget Prop.187 which eerily is the penal code for murder in which the California Constitution was ratified. On the surface it seemed as if it were merely about receiving benefits to social services however if you look deeper it was a strategy for deportation. I argued that people should vote against it and tried to explain the ramifications of the ratification yet what I said fell on death ears!

Well of course they weren’t going to activate the Law right away before they worked folks like 50 cent hoes and so now folks are surprised at the build that wall so it won’t fall jingle and folks are more perplexed at the soon to be dissolved NAFTA act.

‘Well again, if folks pay attention, you can see shit coming cuz what I love about these folks is they tell you what they gone do before they do it. As soon as you started needing a Passport to get into Canada and Mexico folks should have began to ask, ” what’s really going on?’ Nope that didn’t happen because in LaLa Land is where they stayed.

And as I hustled like a new slave off a slave ship to get a house before the bubble busted only to take my house out of escrow after figuring out the get down with the get down but that’s another story. I felt the sting that made many blacks folk support Prop. 187 when the Latinos started fucking with me down at one of my hotel gigs while I was knocking down work like a new slave off a slave ship with a hip hop tune in my head instead of a negro spiritual and they came for me.

And if I would be dumb enough to get all emotional and start tripping with them fools I simply told olé girl who started trouble, with me for no reason ‘ You can go sit down or find something else to do cuz I got this I ain’t slowing down and get the fuck off my back because she had been sweatin me for about 3 days and I was tired of her shit!

I told the manager, ” Aye you better get your girl, this ain’t no competition, there is plenty of work to do”” He told her something in Spanish and she and they rest of them left me the fuck alone. And as I knocked down that back breaking work like an Olympic Athlete, one Salvadorian guy, warmed up to me enough to be so bold to ask me if I were, ” A real American!?” Aka meaning, ” I thought niggas was lazy and they didn’t work, that’s why we are here!”

I looed at him and laughed because here he was an illegal working in the service industry doing one of the lowest cache jobs in America yet some how he wanted to believe that some how he was above me a black woman and from his ignorant ass statement it appeared that he had not done any history on America. Because here he was getting paid less than most Americans but getting paid none the less….. but I digress!

And as the mindset of LaLa Land expanded in many directions and geographical locations, with everyone snobbing their noses at each other. No one quite took the Mexicans seriously when they had vowed to take back, ‘ Califia!!” long after it became a whisper!

 

 

 

 

 

And after blacks began to migrate back down South and to the dusty suburbs of Southern California to live in the hollow MTV style cribs with tumble weeds swirling down the roads at any given time, as folks turned there noses to Latinas with their non glamorous often disrespected jobs I worked side by side and learned their stories, stories of Gorge who was a professional chiropractor back in Mexico who now worked in the kitchen in the hotel restaurant.

I heard first hand how family members got here with the help of extended family and it was an effective strategy across the board because while people were talking shit and mistreating Mexicans and other brown people who had once been colonized by the Spaniards no one expected that they would be able to buy up L.A.

How could they when they were supposedly making less money than everyone else in the country. Yes, lower wages, often under the table, over the table with gratuity added to their checks and cash money from tips, selling flowers and fruit on the corner..etc. Do the math  with less so called money???

Really they was taking whole dollars to the bank and pooling their money and resources together while black folks was selling their mamas homes before they were cold in the ground only to end up penniless and broke after mamas and grandmothers cleaned toilets and was the help in many white homes and institutions and sacrificed their whole lives to keep roofs over their families heads-only to have their hard work go down the drain because folks couldn’t see the forest for the trees!

So if muthafuckas forget, got amnesia, or if like a certain group of the population didn’t feel that these rules of engagement applied to them they know now and all the folks who ain’t never been interested in what was going on pass they dawn self can stop sending me shit cuz at this point they a day late and a dollar short and have now been officially kicked out of LaLa Land, and as cold as it is-I say- ” Welcome to America!”

Now ask yourself, ” Who the fuck you really mad at?” Truth be told most folks mad at they dam selves and just projecting they own hurt and anger unto other people because they allowed themselves to be in LaLa Land in the first place! This is what happens when Arrogance meets Ignorance and Faux Superiority Collide!

 

” Bullshit ain’t nothing but chewed up grass and cows don’t even want it!”_ Famale Ballard

African Booty Scratcher

One of my grandmothers’ favorite sayings was, ” People don’t believe fat meat is greasy and shit stank!” And she was right. So as I sat and watched the most recent episode of Queen Sugar and during one of the scenes one of the characters does something with Oshun to help her sister. I say ” something” with complete sarcasm because I am not sure what she was doing…..I can gleam what her intentions were however with the prevailing rise in people now embracing the Yoruba culture often too many times it is displayed in a disrespectful or romantic manner within the media. And the newly acquainted are spreading and teaching things that can be detrimental and cause much dissolutions  further down the line.

The hailing of the Orishas in association with Beyoncé’s Lemonade seems to have created a momentum that is spreading like wild fires the same way these African printed skirts are trending. Being African is not a trend and to treat the Orisha’s as if they are a trend is dangerous! Growing up and being born and raised in the African Yoruba tradition I am reminded of just how unpopular, ugly and evil being African was so for it to be trendy now gives pause for the cause. When I think of how many times myself, my siblings and my cousins were teased and called ” African Booty Scratchers!” , we’d be rich Eventually we had to taper down on wearing African clothing just to try and semi fit in. As usual, I digress. So as I see folks jumping onto the band wagon a day late a dollar short I would like to give a word to the wise.

Rather you’re from the Conga, Nigeria, Senegal, Cuba or any place else, rituals and practices can vary however the one thing that is consistent is that the spirit whelm is nothing to play with or play in. I’ve been reading so much shit, folks activating and invoking deities and entities from different cultures simultaneously, doing candle work and getting divination at the same time, practicing spells, just plain olé fuckery.

African Spirituality is foremost about character building and family. It’s not passive, there is no finger pointing and blaming. There is no such thing as, ” the devil made me do it!” And ain’t nobody coming to save you! You can get help and assistance however you are going to have to do work and put in work. It ain’t magic however you can have some magical moments. But hear me clearly, it is about Give and Take! Reciprocity!

You start asking, calling down and taking you better be ready to give. The Orishas’ are not lucky rabbits foot or genie’s. They have positive characteristics and negative characteristics. They are not just all good and light. Too much light can kill you, this is why we have night and day! If you coming you better be ready and coming to do work cuz they ain’t playing, although they can be playful and fun.

One of the primary reasons I am writing this post is because I see way too many mentally ill people embracing this culture causing harm and devastation to themselves and others. This culture is not for the weak minded or faint of heart because so many things will happen to you that will test your character that if your mind ain’t right-you in trouble. Too many are coming to become followers, allowing people to lead them without using their own minds/head. We each have our own destiny and no matter what you prescribe to- just know……….. You were not born on a bad day and that you are good enough!

 

How does math and numbers relate to LOSING?

Today parents are way more fucked up than previous generations. Take ‘Play Dates’, for example, back in the day your kids going to spend time with another kid and their family meant that you got the chance to have time to yourself, it was free daycare, a time of respite for mothers. How do you fuck that up? Easy!……. by feeling the need to entertain another mother just so kids can play together.??? The Old Heads had it right!

I’m dropping my kid off for the allotted time and I am going to go enjoy myself and in return you can do the same at a later date but am I going to give up my free time and adult fun to hangout with you and your kid, hell naw because your invitation may be my only chance for free time if I haven’t been savvy enough to make sure I stay at the top of the food chain!

The fucking cuddling, over doing and giving to children does not prepare children for real life. The everybody gets a trophy, everybody is a winner approach is complete bullshit and getting a trophy after you have clearly lost does not take the pain and sting out of losing because LOSING FUCKIN SUCKS!!!!! I hate trophies, I hate certificates and I hate titles because they do not have any real meaningful value for ME!

Did it ever occur to reward people with things that have real meaning and value to them? You can give the person who likes a trophy a trophy and me a check……I can do something with a check and not a trophy but I digress! Giving trophies even in the face of Losing just makes children delusional! And because so many of us have not been taught how to WIN, we in turn do not know how to teach our own children to WIN!! In real life you will experience  victories and failures and they are both equally important.

The problem comes when we experience way more losing than winning, way more failures than successes ……….So how does being afraid of math and numbers relate to losing??? Somewhere along the line we get scared of Math and Numbers, somehow they become like monsters in the closet, they become things that you don’t want to look at. The truth is -Math- is the truth and numbers don’t lie however, people can and will manipulate numbers in favor for their own personal outcomes. If you have been Losing consistently for long periods of times it’s time to look at the Numbers.

50 YEARS IS JUST 2,500  WEEKENDS!!!!!!!

50 YEARS IS JUST 2,500 WEEKENDS!!!!!!!

50 YEARS IS JUST 2,500 WEEKENDS!!!!!!! 

With this reality and number in mind do we have time to be people pleasing, do we have time to be auditioning for roles and parts that we do not want, do we have time to keep doing and giving with little to no returns on our investments?? Now I found this video and if you are a female I want you to be open to consider applying whatever you think resonates with you. Although it may appear- at first he is speaking from a male perspective. However, if you actively listen……he is speaking from a human perspective.

How you became a Loser Magnet!

Have you ever been on a job and you did most of the work and as a result,  the company exceeded all their bottom line goals. The Sales Team and Managers all received bonuses each time goals were met. He’ll you even worked so hard your work helped get one sales person in your department the Employee of the Year Award with an all exclusive paid trip to New York City with a week stay at the Waldorf Astoria Hotel. And after a year or more of exceeding sales goals from your supporting role they call you in the office and tell you-you didn’t do shit and offer you a .14 cent raise. What would you do?

When I think of this and many other times that black women do more than everybody but seldom reap the benefits-I wonder how Venus and Serena Williams feel when they changed the game and the look of tennis, looking juicy and fabulous while they whooped everybody asses only to watch  Losers being compensated handsomely while Venus and Serena monetary compensations, the respect and admiration for their skills are met with the same shit many black females receive from over working and outperforming all the while looking like they stepped off the pages of Vanity Africa only to be brought into offices to receive  bad reviews, no respect and poor compensation while everybody else stay winning off her hard work.  Never in the history of tennis and fashion have more money been made than when these two sisters took over but they might as well had been offering the Williams sisters the same funky ass .14 cents they offered my girl.

My entire life I had been socialized that I had to be 2 times better than white girls, that I had to work twice as hard as white girls to even be considered for the same opportunities and while I had to be better than white folks I also had to serve black men and the community as a moral obligation to the race. Well after out working and outperforming all the white folks on my jobs (both male & female) and after having become an Olympic Gold Medalist Servant. Yes you heard that right if they had an Olympics for serving and catering to muthafuckas I would be a world renown champion 10 times over!

Now hear me clearly no matter how well I was trained to serve I draw the line, I ain’t co-signing for shit, putting a negro through school, paying child support for a dude, I ain’t paying a negroes rent or mortgage, I ain’t buying a negro a car or other outlandish things women do for men that are not their husbands (When I was 19 I let my boyfriend who later became my husband, yes please give me the side eye drive my car and that negro was picking up girls and taking them on dates) Contrary to popular belief, the Hood has value-some lessons you learn growing up in the hood you ain’t gone git nowhere else that are worth their weight in gold!

The day I saw Terry drop them dawn kids of her off on the curb wit they clothes in trash bags with the warm embrace and smile from their father as she peeled off hitting the corner on two tires I learned then that ain’t nobody gone give you a break you got to get it yourself without asking for permission cause people like to keep you in position where you constantly losing and they winning!

With this in mind, I  have been trying to find a transformational resource for women who suffer from being a Nice Girl, stuck in the Good Girl Complex not having fun, not getting what they want. He’ll not even being aware of what they want besides the things society tells a woman she should want or need.  I wanted to find a resource for women who languished in deprivation who had been socialized to worship men and take care of men often times getting nothing in return but heartache, headaches, and lowered  self-esteem!  I wanted to find an aunt who had lived long enough who would finally tell the truth so that we could finally- be winning since most females are kept in their places only to be taught how to be loser magnets by their own mothers, other women and their family members!

 

A Tribe Called Red

The truth about intimate relationships is that they can never be any better than our relationships with ourselves-James Hollis

 

There are times when people try to make you feel like you ain’t shit and for a moment or sometimes longer than a moment their words, actions and behaviors leave you feeling bad about yourself. Sometimes the only way to shake off the feeling of unworthiness is to put on a good song to bring you out of the funk using a banging beat. Beat the feeling of defeat with a drum beat, a powwow and a master lyrist. Yasiin Bey aka Mos Def is a reminder that “you still got it”  even after people try to destroy you!

I got my mind made up

People talk too much. Everyone’s always chatting and not delivering. I’m the opposite. I like to just deliver.- FKA twigs

 

Would you fuck with you if you were somebody who couldn’t keep a promise? If they never kept their word would you let them stay in your life? How many times would you take them back if they kept standing you up without even a mention of what got in the way. They just show up as if shit was cool. How would you handle this person? You would probably blow up on they ass, right?

But what happens when the person breaking the promises and not keeping their word with you was and IS YOU

 

Cruising for a bruising

 

Mental illness is running rampant in American society regardless of race, sex, and or class. But sometimes the folks who are labeled “Crazy” may in fact be the most sane in any group. Often times the person labeled ” Crazy!” in the family or a group are used as scapegoats. And then there is the more sinister scenarios of when the person labeled crazy refuses to go along to get along and if you’re the odd man out chances are you will be classified as ” Crazy!”

And then there is the person labeled ” Crazy!” who has simply reached a point where they have had enough! As if reaching the point where you have tolerated enough bullshit sincerely equates being labeled ” Crazy” when in reality a boundary has been established once a person has reached their limit in tolerating the now intolerable…… in the words of Popeye, ” That’s all I can stands, I can’t stands no more!”

You would think being stupid would trump being crazy. Yet somehow it seems reasonably acceptable to be stupid but God forbid being ” Crazy!” When do we ever focus on the chronic line breakers, the folks who seem not to understand boundaries and yet more times than not the focus is on the person whose unable to clearly define or draw the line so it’s clear as to where it resides. And once the tipping point is reached-the chronic line breaker after having their asses ripped a new, usually stand by looking shocked often times saying, ” What did I do?” As if they are some 3 year old unable to comprehend that they had been, ” Cruising for a bruising!” for sometime now, yet the person unable to say, ” Here’s the line and do not cross it, is the one often labeled ” Crazy!” Because they had pushed themselves beyond the point of tolerance,

You got to know where the lines before it’s crossed!

 

 

 

 

 

Losing my hairy balls

 

I remember my ex-husband looking at me with deep dispair, hurt and curosity in his eyes when he asked what happened to the sweet 16 year old girl he knew. I recollect saying something along the lines that bitch is dead!  I knew he understood that he played a major part in the new me. We got married at age 28, we had done everything ass hole backwards since we had met at 14 and 15.

I was all business and no matter how much I deeply loved him, having been abondoned by him so many times in the past left with our daughter/daughters to raise while he found his way into manhood, I unfortunately did not have the luxury to make a myrid of mistakes in hopes of finding myself nor was I ever going to permitted to take the road less traveled because it was simply forbidden and taking a crack break to receive help just didnt seem worth it.

I wanted to be sweet but I was scared, I had reluctantly drank the kool-aid that as a black woman I did not need nor did I deserve a break and so I wore the worn and tactored cloak of the black strong woman who would endure and find my glory in the after life but death comes too slow when you’re exhausted and at the tipping point.

If feminity is based on being vulnerable and receptive than many of us have a long way to go! For the past several years I have made a mindful decision to cut my hairy balls off, that turn into wrecking balls. And as mindful, as I am in being actively deeply engaged in this process there are still so many circumstances that they are needed and come in handy because I need to protect and defend myself and until there is a Rent a Nigga Agency where I can go and rent me a Niggod 6 foot 5 weighing 325 pounds to stand in as my husband to take down to the office where some black dude thought that he could TRY and take advantage of me cuz y’all know certain types of black chicks should be so desparate as if we are little red riding hood!

So as I learn how to become a horse whisperer there will be certain times my hairy ass balls will descend because as my sweet love says, ” You got to keep the wolves off you!”