Blog Page

How bitches are made!

Image result for how bitches are made


Last week -I discussed, the difference between having and wanting. Today, I am going to talk about ” going without” and “doing without”. According to, the horse whisper of men Alison Armstrong -women are socialized and in some cases are biologically wired to put up with things that are not working for them.  And will sacrifice themselves and give up and go without, hoping that in the end they will get a commitment or receive the outcome they desired!

Now I want you to really think about that for a moment. We give up what we need and want in the moment for a future return with no guarantees of a return. How much energy do we expend in this kind of behavior? If as women, we are forgoing ” having” what we need and desires- what effect does that have on you as a person? Now add the amount of time you’ve ” gone without” and ” done without”-how has that effected you?

Sit with this for a minute until you get some answers and see if you come to the same conclusion I came to……..” This some Bullshit!”


Fuck wanting! How do we get to having!!

I have not been writing on my blog for weeks now. Because something has unearthed me and vexed my spirit to the point that I have been all in my head. As a result, I have been in  deep curiosity as to how I got on this journey of wanting people to have what they want.

Ok,  lets talk about wanting…..from all of the experts and spiritual guru past and present it appears that wanting is going to keep you in want and not having.  According to Google search want means:


  1. Have a desire to possess or do ( something); wish for
  2. (Archaic)  Lack or be short of something desirable or essential


  1. ( Archaic) A lack or deficiency of something
  2. A desire for something

When the sages speak to not standing in wanting , if you look at the definitions, the definition that is most appropriate would be the so-called archaic definition. Considering, the sages all agree when you stand in wanting or lament in wanting then you stay wanting.

Now, one of the reasons I love looking up the meaning of words is because words are powerful. According to, some wise person; ” Everything that comes out of your mouth is a prayer”. And the one thing; I caution people with- is playing in the spirit world  without the proper guidance or knowledge and so many of us including myself have been using words not knowing their true meaning or origin.




Consequently, when we say ” I want a new house” ” We want a new house” what we are really saying is; ” I lack a new house” now multiply that times how many times you think and say, ” I want a new house”- which actually translates to “I lack a new house”. Yep chew on that for a minute!

So what is the difference from wanting and having?  Let’s take a look at the word “have “closer. ( If you clicked the word having you were brought to a link that gave the etymology of the word) Google defines, have as follows:


  1. possess, own, or hold
  2. experience; undergo
  3. (my favorite) used with a past participle to form the perfect pluperfect and future past tenses and the conditional mood. Esp, I have finished

Noun Informal

  1. people with plenty of money and possessions

Since my brain has been overloaded with experiences and constant thoughts I’m going to leave you with this and I will be back to add-on. I need a brain break to clearly explain where I’m going from here. Peace and Blessings. Be well on your road to having!

New Rule


If I am not in the equation then I am not responsible for the Outcome or the Solution_Mike`







Where ever 3 or more agree



Ok I have received some comments in the comments section that I want to address in a post because I want to recognize the folks who have taken the time to leave a comment. Now since one of the commentators name was Shit I looked at the name sideways yet I knew that I needed to give them credit and respect since there is a real live person on reality t.v that goes by the name of Oh Shit! That being said, let’s do the run down.


  • I received a comment about the titles of my posts and I could be wrong in my understanding of the commentary but I was encouraged to come up with “better titles” and I’m paraphrasing the commentator. That being said, there is a method to why I choose titles. However I am interested,  based on the content of my posts as to what the commentator or any other viewer would have titled the posts. Click here to leave advice What do you think?


  • Another commentator asked for advice on setting up a blog, hear me clearly, after attempting to get help from a so-called professionals and other so-called tech people who refused to help me- I cancelled Bluehost and used Go Daddy instead as a host, again I could have the terminology wrong but I digress. In the end , I just sat down and jumped in the water without fear of not knowing how to swim and I googled WordPress and have just done everything by feel as far as the tech side is concerned.


  • A reader asked for contact information to offer more resources and opportunities. And then there are what look like  Spammers who leave comments, never the less, I read their comments even if they are trying to sell me Viagra or services to help me increase my traffic.

So on behalf of any and all that take the time to comment I appreciate you for reading my posts and visiting my site. On behalf of those who read my blog and don’t comment I appreciate you as well. At the same time I am thinking of ways to expand my site to offer more. Again I thank you all for taking the time out of your busy schedules to read my posts because you could be doing other things.

And most importantly no matter how many challenges, struggles, pain, or ups and downs life gives you- always remember, ” You wasn’t born on a bad day!” and ” Nobody Does You Better Than You!” Get started on whatever you dream or want to do, refuse to wait for perfection, the perfect time, your perfect weight, your perfect mate, your perfect creation…… put it out there on the strength that it’s Good Enough and you can add improvements later!

It’s time for a reset!

It is time to reset and leave the b.s. behind and get back to the business of the business of getting what we want and keeping our minds tight and right……


Fakers and shakers



“You make me sick!”,  is an infamous phrase from the hood. And right now that is how I’m feeling about these Dr’s and so-called experts on whatever the hell they suppose to be experts on but ain’t got an original thought on shit! I won’t even name them by name because I refuse to give them credit or help people make money that steal from other people and then turn around  and  sale they shit! It reminds me of girls from the hood who’d run back and say, ” your man  ain’t no good!” while all the while trying to fuck him and proudly be his side chic!

If I read one more post, article or book on the so-called Bad Girl but we the Good Girl gon take her ” spells” that’s a quote from the Good Doctor. I’m like….. really….. Bad Girls ain’t shit but they need the Bad Girls Playbook cuz the Good Girl caint even get his attention….. side eye! Who they think they fooling with the we don’t want to be them but we gone use they shit to take em down!

How many men have been tricked by these fakers and shakers only to wife these so called good girls up, give em babies and then somewhere down the line…… the real them comes out and it turns out that she was pretending to be somebody else but by the time he figured it out it was too late and now he scared to leave cuz he don’t want to be on child support or pay alimony!


 I always behave .... just not necessarily well.

Let me quote some Bad Girls!:

  1. Don’t hate me cuz you ain’t me_White Chicks
  2. Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring_Marilyn Monroe
  3. I used to be scared of the Dick, now I throw lips to the shit_Lil Kim
  4. Only good girls keep diaries. Bad girls don’t have time_Tallulah Bankhead
  5. When I’m good I’m very, very good but when I’m bad I’m better_Mae West
  6. You got to always have a spare tire cuz you dont know when you gon catch a flat_Doll Baby



Act civilized!

I told ya’ll I’ve been in protest on people sending me reports of the goings on and current events of the nation yet people refuse to respect my space and since people who know me well-know I enjoy a  little mischievous they couldn’t resist sending me this…..

Back in the day, ” showin yo ass” in public could lead to you having to pick your own switch to get your ass beat. Some cultures don’t play that embarrassing your family shit! Especially,  in public because respectability needed to be maintained at all times. Yet at the same time, there were occasions when all decorum could be thrown out the window, when using your words or attempting to ignore the Un reasonable was ineffective.


Case in point, My grandmother could make cuss words sound like lullabies and correct bad behavior faster than any correctional officer. So in celebrating and honoring the dead. I salute all of the master words smith who beautifully  articulate and punctuate verbally what some of us cannot say for fear of being ridiculed or simply for not having the knack or tacked when it comes to the profane! Not to mention sometimes in painful situations we have to find ways to lighten our hearts and resist being too hard on ourselves, especially after you have done your best to act civilized!

And please understand- in the words of my grandmother_ ” you caint buy class!” For those of you who ain’t spent no time in the desert like Hagar in the wilderness enduring heartache and endless  tears feeling like you ain’t never gone see golden years…… remember what the olé folks say……” Keep Living!”

We can level cities!

Irritation and aggravation subsided I had to refocus on my clarity and clarification that whatever fuckery, chicanery, and shenanigans other folks wanted to be on and stay in was not my desired goal or intention. I had spent way to many years in the land of dis Ease, un Pleased, Un Satisfied, in Congruent, and Un fucked well on a regular basis where a niggod just stands up I it!- dancing and marching to someone else’s beat and rhythm  leaving me broke, busted and disgusted that I vowed, ” Never Again!” And while there is a such thing as righteous anger what I do love about anger is it is an emotion that gets a person moving, it disrupts inertia. Now there can be collateral damage if the energy of anger in action isn’t transmuted.

Like fiery dragons, we can level cities but what happens when righteous anger moves us to level cities. Now we cannot enjoy ourselves because in our righteous indignation we have destroyed everything and must start a new and this is where anger turned to bitchiness goes wrong. Forgive yourself for all the cities you may have had to level no matter the catalyst behind muthafcukas having to get their asses singed and burnt knowing good dam well they deserve it but I digress!

Now that you have fucked everything up and you cannot go to the movies cuz you leveled that, that you cannot go to the Supermarket cuz you leveled that, that you cannot drive on the roads cuz you leveled them, that you cannot drive cuz you roasted those, that your children cannot go to school cuz you leveled them, etc…. cuz you leveled it…. by now you get my point.

And so what do we do and where do we go from here? Well you might want to check in with yourself and honor your own feelings and emotions before you get to the Tipping Point like she did before she leveled a building because build up will erupt! It might be time to pull out and watch that old movie Falling Down staring Michael Douglass to fully overstand that it is a thin line between sanity and insanity and you never know what the breaking point might be!

If the shoe fits then wear it in LaLa Land!





“Folks suffer from delusions of grandeur!”_YeYe



I have not been able to write because I have been inundated in an attempt to indoctrinate me into the bullshit shit circus that has spawned since President Donald Trump took office! As often as I have received blank stares or the I am not so sure of what to make of this statement that has been hurled  directly and indirectly at me from white women, ” I don’t envy you”, as a direct response to me explaining my trial and tribulations as a black woman in America, sitting across from my white female counterpart in a professional setting, let me quantify that-a private-professional setting, my gaze became blank because as she started to cry, she said, “All hope was lost!” because Hillary had lost the election!

I didn’t know quite what to make of her reaction and the reaction of so many others after the election. Since I had not put my hope in either one of them. I had the raw knowing that because we shared the same genitals, did not mean we shared the same values or saw the world from the same lens. I had chosen to sit this one out purposely because it felt like a familiar statement both directly and symbolically was being asked of me….. ” What foot do you want cut off your left or your right?”

And since I had once been asked this question upon something being done for me as a supposed favor and me being ignorant to the process, it seemed that I had put myself in a bind for not knowing the stakes at hand or the game being played and as much as I wanted to keep both feet- I had to make a choice and while the shit hurt, I appreciated the candor from the man holding my future in his hands. I didn’t literally lose a foot yet I paid a heavy price for not knowing what a so called favor was going to cost me!

And so as I sat this one out and had done a great job of not getting caught up in the Frey. After Donald Trump won, the onslaught began and as I began to rubber neck, I could not believe all the things I was seeing and hearing so much of the shit was so outlandish it was like a coon fest and a clown show and since I was a student of the theatre I knew many had underestimated the brilliance of the Court Jester and his role and significance in society and so I knew he was going to win despite me actively deciding not to engage!

Watching the scenes unfold after the acts had taken place one could see the genius in the mad satire and as enthralling as it was I wanted to remain un-hijacked by the emotional storm of  such crafted scripts of one of the greatest Antagonist in American history! That being said,  I want folks to stop sending me shit that he does and says. Nothing he says or does shocks me because historically Negros tell it like it is and growing up in the family I did, we put shit on the table so you couldn’t be confused or surprised where a muthafucka stood and I ain’t even added the street code and ethics!

See these are some the same folks who ain’t ever been interested in politics or policies and how they effect other people. I’ve been out in these streets advocating for better everything and at the end of the day when you do not get the support needed to sustain making communities vibrant you just get burnt out and sit the fuck down because dealing with apathetic muthafuckas waiting on somebody else to come save they asses just becomes too heart breaking and enough is enough already.

The fact that LaLa Land the movie is such a great hit speaks to the state that most people had been in until The Grandmaster of Chaos began his official political campaign and how anyone that has currently been kicked in the teeth feels blindsided makes me give the side eye. Where the fuck y’all been?

At what point did Mexicans fall asleep? Did they collectively forget Prop.187 which eerily is the penal code for murder in which the California Constitution was ratified. On the surface it seemed as if it were merely about receiving benefits to social services however if you look deeper it was a strategy for deportation. I argued that people should vote against it and tried to explain the ramifications of the ratification yet what I said fell on death ears!

Well of course they weren’t going to activate the Law right away before they worked folks like 50 cent hoes and so now folks are surprised at the build that wall so it won’t fall jingle and folks are more perplexed at the soon to be dissolved NAFTA act.

‘Well again, if folks pay attention, you can see shit coming cuz what I love about these folks is they tell you what they gone do before they do it. As soon as you started needing a Passport to get into Canada and Mexico folks should have began to ask, ” what’s really going on?’ Nope that didn’t happen because in LaLa Land is where they stayed.

And as I hustled like a new slave off a slave ship to get a house before the bubble busted only to take my house out of escrow after figuring out the get down with the get down but that’s another story. I felt the sting that made many blacks folk support Prop. 187 when the Latinos started fucking with me down at one of my hotel gigs while I was knocking down work like a new slave off a slave ship with a hip hop tune in my head instead of a negro spiritual and they came for me.

And if I would be dumb enough to get all emotional and start tripping with them fools I simply told olé girl who started trouble, with me for no reason ‘ You can go sit down or find something else to do cuz I got this I ain’t slowing down and get the fuck off my back because she had been sweatin me for about 3 days and I was tired of her shit!

I told the manager, ” Aye you better get your girl, this ain’t no competition, there is plenty of work to do”” He told her something in Spanish and she and they rest of them left me the fuck alone. And as I knocked down that back breaking work like an Olympic Athlete, one Salvadorian guy, warmed up to me enough to be so bold to ask me if I were, ” A real American!?” Aka meaning, ” I thought niggas was lazy and they didn’t work, that’s why we are here!”

I looed at him and laughed because here he was an illegal working in the service industry doing one of the lowest cache jobs in America yet some how he wanted to believe that some how he was above me a black woman and from his ignorant ass statement it appeared that he had not done any history on America. Because here he was getting paid less than most Americans but getting paid none the less….. but I digress!

And as the mindset of LaLa Land expanded in many directions and geographical locations, with everyone snobbing their noses at each other. No one quite took the Mexicans seriously when they had vowed to take back, ‘ Califia!!” long after it became a whisper!






And after blacks began to migrate back down South and to the dusty suburbs of Southern California to live in the hollow MTV style cribs with tumble weeds swirling down the roads at any given time, as folks turned there noses to Latinas with their non glamorous often disrespected jobs I worked side by side and learned their stories, stories of Gorge who was a professional chiropractor back in Mexico who now worked in the kitchen in the hotel restaurant.

I heard first hand how family members got here with the help of extended family and it was an effective strategy across the board because while people were talking shit and mistreating Mexicans and other brown people who had once been colonized by the Spaniards no one expected that they would be able to buy up L.A.

How could they when they were supposedly making less money than everyone else in the country. Yes, lower wages, often under the table, over the table with gratuity added to their checks and cash money from tips, selling flowers and fruit on the corner..etc. Do the math  with less so called money???

Really they was taking whole dollars to the bank and pooling their money and resources together while black folks was selling their mamas homes before they were cold in the ground only to end up penniless and broke after mamas and grandmothers cleaned toilets and was the help in many white homes and institutions and sacrificed their whole lives to keep roofs over their families heads-only to have their hard work go down the drain because folks couldn’t see the forest for the trees!

So if muthafuckas forget, got amnesia, or if like a certain group of the population didn’t feel that these rules of engagement applied to them they know now and all the folks who ain’t never been interested in what was going on pass they dawn self can stop sending me shit cuz at this point they a day late and a dollar short and have now been officially kicked out of LaLa Land, and as cold as it is-I say- ” Welcome to America!”

Now ask yourself, ” Who the fuck you really mad at?” Truth be told most folks mad at they dam selves and just projecting they own hurt and anger unto other people because they allowed themselves to be in LaLa Land in the first place! This is what happens when Arrogance meets Ignorance and Faux Superiority Collide!


” Bullshit ain’t nothing but chewed up grass and cows don’t even want it!”_ Famale Ballard

What the real get down is!


With all the hysteria, paranoia, fear, hopelessness and over all disenchantment with the new direction of America or rather the United States I am often surprised at the hyper reactions of ordinary people when I learned in History class and in Political Science class, the founding fathers aka the people who reconstructed North America were just as brutal and candid when they designed the system that we live under.

Everyday folks were said to be, ” too emotional and stupid!” to have run the country which is supposedly why the electoral college was created so I’m confused about the confusion. The get down with the get down has been going on for so long how can anyone be shocked and or surprised as to what the real get down is?

And as I scratch my head, it is refreshing to hear someone speak who just comes from a place of pure common sense! And so the prophetic words of Flava Flav ring in my head and I am reminded about the need and the importance of the Court Jester!