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Act civilized!

I told ya’ll I’ve been in protest on people sending me reports of the goings on and current events of the nation yet people refuse to respect my space and since people who know me well-know I enjoy a  little mischievous they couldn’t resist sending me this…..

Back in the day, ” showin yo ass” in public could lead to you having to pick your own switch to get your ass beat. Some cultures don’t play that embarrassing your family shit! Especially,  in public because respectability needed to be maintained at all times. Yet at the same time, there were occasions when all decorum could be thrown out the window, when using your words or attempting to ignore the Un reasonable was ineffective.

 

Case in point, My grandmother could make cuss words sound like lullabies and correct bad behavior faster than any correctional officer. So in celebrating and honoring the dead. I salute all of the master words smith who beautifully  articulate and punctuate verbally what some of us cannot say for fear of being ridiculed or simply for not having the knack or tacked when it comes to the profane! Not to mention sometimes in painful situations we have to find ways to lighten our hearts and resist being too hard on ourselves, especially after you have done your best to act civilized!

And please understand- in the words of my grandmother_ ” you caint buy class!” For those of you who ain’t spent no time in the desert like Hagar in the wilderness enduring heartache and endless  tears feeling like you ain’t never gone see golden years…… remember what the olé folks say……” Keep Living!”

We can level cities!

Irritation and aggravation subsided I had to refocus on my clarity and clarification that whatever fuckery, chicanery, and shenanigans other folks wanted to be on and stay in was not my desired goal or intention. I had spent way to many years in the land of dis Ease, un Pleased, Un Satisfied, in Congruent, and Un fucked well on a regular basis where a niggod just stands up I it!- dancing and marching to someone else’s beat and rhythm  leaving me broke, busted and disgusted that I vowed, ” Never Again!” And while there is a such thing as righteous anger what I do love about anger is it is an emotion that gets a person moving, it disrupts inertia. Now there can be collateral damage if the energy of anger in action isn’t transmuted.

Like fiery dragons, we can level cities but what happens when righteous anger moves us to level cities. Now we cannot enjoy ourselves because in our righteous indignation we have destroyed everything and must start a new and this is where anger turned to bitchiness goes wrong. Forgive yourself for all the cities you may have had to level no matter the catalyst behind muthafcukas having to get their asses singed and burnt knowing good dam well they deserve it but I digress!

Now that you have fucked everything up and you cannot go to the movies cuz you leveled that, that you cannot go to the Supermarket cuz you leveled that, that you cannot drive on the roads cuz you leveled them, that you cannot drive cuz you roasted those, that your children cannot go to school cuz you leveled them, etc…. cuz you leveled it…. by now you get my point.

And so what do we do and where do we go from here? Well you might want to check in with yourself and honor your own feelings and emotions before you get to the Tipping Point like she did before she leveled a building because build up will erupt! It might be time to pull out and watch that old movie Falling Down staring Michael Douglass to fully overstand that it is a thin line between sanity and insanity and you never know what the breaking point might be!

If the shoe fits then wear it in LaLa Land!

 

 

 

 

“Folks suffer from delusions of grandeur!”_YeYe

 

 

I have not been able to write because I have been inundated in an attempt to indoctrinate me into the bullshit shit circus that has spawned since President Donald Trump took office! As often as I have received blank stares or the I am not so sure of what to make of this statement that has been hurled  directly and indirectly at me from white women, ” I don’t envy you”, as a direct response to me explaining my trial and tribulations as a black woman in America, sitting across from my white female counterpart in a professional setting, let me quantify that-a private-professional setting, my gaze became blank because as she started to cry, she said, “All hope was lost!” because Hillary had lost the election!

I didn’t know quite what to make of her reaction and the reaction of so many others after the election. Since I had not put my hope in either one of them. I had the raw knowing that because we shared the same genitals, did not mean we shared the same values or saw the world from the same lens. I had chosen to sit this one out purposely because it felt like a familiar statement both directly and symbolically was being asked of me….. ” What foot do you want cut off your left or your right?”

And since I had once been asked this question upon something being done for me as a supposed favor and me being ignorant to the process, it seemed that I had put myself in a bind for not knowing the stakes at hand or the game being played and as much as I wanted to keep both feet- I had to make a choice and while the shit hurt, I appreciated the candor from the man holding my future in his hands. I didn’t literally lose a foot yet I paid a heavy price for not knowing what a so called favor was going to cost me!

And so as I sat this one out and had done a great job of not getting caught up in the Frey. After Donald Trump won, the onslaught began and as I began to rubber neck, I could not believe all the things I was seeing and hearing so much of the shit was so outlandish it was like a coon fest and a clown show and since I was a student of the theatre I knew many had underestimated the brilliance of the Court Jester and his role and significance in society and so I knew he was going to win despite me actively deciding not to engage!

Watching the scenes unfold after the acts had taken place one could see the genius in the mad satire and as enthralling as it was I wanted to remain un-hijacked by the emotional storm of  such crafted scripts of one of the greatest Antagonist in American history! That being said,  I want folks to stop sending me shit that he does and says. Nothing he says or does shocks me because historically Negros tell it like it is and growing up in the family I did, we put shit on the table so you couldn’t be confused or surprised where a muthafucka stood and I ain’t even added the street code and ethics!

See these are some the same folks who ain’t ever been interested in politics or policies and how they effect other people. I’ve been out in these streets advocating for better everything and at the end of the day when you do not get the support needed to sustain making communities vibrant you just get burnt out and sit the fuck down because dealing with apathetic muthafuckas waiting on somebody else to come save they asses just becomes too heart breaking and enough is enough already.

The fact that LaLa Land the movie is such a great hit speaks to the state that most people had been in until The Grandmaster of Chaos began his official political campaign and how anyone that has currently been kicked in the teeth feels blindsided makes me give the side eye. Where the fuck y’all been?

At what point did Mexicans fall asleep? Did they collectively forget Prop.187 which eerily is the penal code for murder in which the California Constitution was ratified. On the surface it seemed as if it were merely about receiving benefits to social services however if you look deeper it was a strategy for deportation. I argued that people should vote against it and tried to explain the ramifications of the ratification yet what I said fell on death ears!

Well of course they weren’t going to activate the Law right away before they worked folks like 50 cent hoes and so now folks are surprised at the build that wall so it won’t fall jingle and folks are more perplexed at the soon to be dissolved NAFTA act.

‘Well again, if folks pay attention, you can see shit coming cuz what I love about these folks is they tell you what they gone do before they do it. As soon as you started needing a Passport to get into Canada and Mexico folks should have began to ask, ” what’s really going on?’ Nope that didn’t happen because in LaLa Land is where they stayed.

And as I hustled like a new slave off a slave ship to get a house before the bubble busted only to take my house out of escrow after figuring out the get down with the get down but that’s another story. I felt the sting that made many blacks folk support Prop. 187 when the Latinos started fucking with me down at one of my hotel gigs while I was knocking down work like a new slave off a slave ship with a hip hop tune in my head instead of a negro spiritual and they came for me.

And if I would be dumb enough to get all emotional and start tripping with them fools I simply told olé girl who started trouble, with me for no reason ‘ You can go sit down or find something else to do cuz I got this I ain’t slowing down and get the fuck off my back because she had been sweatin me for about 3 days and I was tired of her shit!

I told the manager, ” Aye you better get your girl, this ain’t no competition, there is plenty of work to do”” He told her something in Spanish and she and they rest of them left me the fuck alone. And as I knocked down that back breaking work like an Olympic Athlete, one Salvadorian guy, warmed up to me enough to be so bold to ask me if I were, ” A real American!?” Aka meaning, ” I thought niggas was lazy and they didn’t work, that’s why we are here!”

I looed at him and laughed because here he was an illegal working in the service industry doing one of the lowest cache jobs in America yet some how he wanted to believe that some how he was above me a black woman and from his ignorant ass statement it appeared that he had not done any history on America. Because here he was getting paid less than most Americans but getting paid none the less….. but I digress!

And as the mindset of LaLa Land expanded in many directions and geographical locations, with everyone snobbing their noses at each other. No one quite took the Mexicans seriously when they had vowed to take back, ‘ Califia!!” long after it became a whisper!

 

 

 

 

 

And after blacks began to migrate back down South and to the dusty suburbs of Southern California to live in the hollow MTV style cribs with tumble weeds swirling down the roads at any given time, as folks turned there noses to Latinas with their non glamorous often disrespected jobs I worked side by side and learned their stories, stories of Gorge who was a professional chiropractor back in Mexico who now worked in the kitchen in the hotel restaurant.

I heard first hand how family members got here with the help of extended family and it was an effective strategy across the board because while people were talking shit and mistreating Mexicans and other brown people who had once been colonized by the Spaniards no one expected that they would be able to buy up L.A.

How could they when they were supposedly making less money than everyone else in the country. Yes, lower wages, often under the table, over the table with gratuity added to their checks and cash money from tips, selling flowers and fruit on the corner..etc. Do the math  with less so called money???

Really they was taking whole dollars to the bank and pooling their money and resources together while black folks was selling their mamas homes before they were cold in the ground only to end up penniless and broke after mamas and grandmothers cleaned toilets and was the help in many white homes and institutions and sacrificed their whole lives to keep roofs over their families heads-only to have their hard work go down the drain because folks couldn’t see the forest for the trees!

So if muthafuckas forget, got amnesia, or if like a certain group of the population didn’t feel that these rules of engagement applied to them they know now and all the folks who ain’t never been interested in what was going on pass they dawn self can stop sending me shit cuz at this point they a day late and a dollar short and have now been officially kicked out of LaLa Land, and as cold as it is-I say- ” Welcome to America!”

Now ask yourself, ” Who the fuck you really mad at?” Truth be told most folks mad at they dam selves and just projecting they own hurt and anger unto other people because they allowed themselves to be in LaLa Land in the first place! This is what happens when Arrogance meets Ignorance and Faux Superiority Collide!

 

” Bullshit ain’t nothing but chewed up grass and cows don’t even want it!”_ Famale Ballard

What the real get down is!

 

With all the hysteria, paranoia, fear, hopelessness and over all disenchantment with the new direction of America or rather the United States I am often surprised at the hyper reactions of ordinary people when I learned in History class and in Political Science class, the founding fathers aka the people who reconstructed North America were just as brutal and candid when they designed the system that we live under.

Everyday folks were said to be, ” too emotional and stupid!” to have run the country which is supposedly why the electoral college was created so I’m confused about the confusion. The get down with the get down has been going on for so long how can anyone be shocked and or surprised as to what the real get down is?

And as I scratch my head, it is refreshing to hear someone speak who just comes from a place of pure common sense! And so the prophetic words of Flava Flav ring in my head and I am reminded about the need and the importance of the Court Jester!

 

I love being a girl!

 

I gleefully say Good Bye…..Odabo to the year 2016. All year I have felt like I my mode of transportation has been on the back of a tortoise. It has been a year filled with many frustrations and seemingly slows starts, many stops and snail pace movements no matter how I have desired or even pushed to make things move faster, things just kept happening at a super slow dawn near not moving pace.

And in this slow pace I got to address some issues and relationships. And so I dove deep. I was warned many times over that I had to eliminate superficial relationships that I would need to develop and go deeper in my relating to people in my life. I could no longer sit on the surface and hide my true feelings.

And so I have unnerved and unraveled, untangled, dismantled, and tangled some of my relationships with others. I have bruised some egos by demanding that men honor their words and the one thing that I have been unrelenting in is getting the men in my life to understand how they treat women will visit their daughters. That with each mistreat of someone else’s daughter, sister, mother, cousin and friend, the karma will be visited to the women in these men lives who are careless in the treatment of women.

You can rest assure that it will reach your front door to devour your own daughters as you have devoured other men’s daughters! And as I warn men I am reminded in my reclaiming of myself………. that I Love Being a Girl!

I am not standing in line to spend time with anybody!

 

 

I have an extremely busy Man Friend named Jay who is a Director and Producer in Hollywood; whose schedule is mad crazy and busy. He is constantly traveling all over the nation and world for business and pleasure. Although he is very busy, at some point and time I let him know that it was important to me that he make time for our relationship. I was patient in the beginning of our friendship when he allowed his schedule to dictate rather or not we spent time together.

 

I told him at some point I understood his hectic schedule, however if we were going to continue to be friends then we would have to work something out amongst ourselves that fully met the needs of us both.And so we started scheduling dates and times when we would have conversations. Depending on how long it had been since we had spoken on the phone our conversations would be scheduled for 30 minutes to an hour.

 

At first it seemed odd to schedule a date and time to dialogue with a friend, however after time, it became easy and I looked forward to talking to him. In between our scheduled talks we began setting face to face dates in advance. Opening up may calendar and blocking off time with Jay began to make me feel special and our time together is always fun and relaxing even though we are not in a romantic relationship.

 

When I made the declaration that I wanted to have a give and take relationship and that him being present was a requirement in order for our friendship to blossom.  I let him know that I needed to talk to him and spend time with him and while I understood his schedule was busy……I refused to accept it as an excuse as to why we could not talk and spend time together. Once I made the declaration, he asked me to get my calendar out and we planned our first scheduled conversation and our first scheduled lunch date where I agreed to have lunch with him at his desk and from there things have taken off!

 

Again planning a telephone conversation seems odd at first however over time it becomes fun and relaxing, it gives us time to miss each other so when we do talk it’s effortless. And when we schedule face to face meetings each time we see each it’s always at a new and different location and we reveal more and more of ourselves because it feels safe! ” You either have results or excuses!”, says Veronica Conway. And she is correct! Ask for what you want and need in any relationship be it romantic, friendship or family. And if a date, time and place are not set rather it is made in the future or the spot than you run the risk of not getting what you want or need.

 

I am not waiting in line to spend time with anybody….I don’t give a fuck who they are….. mama, daddy, brother, sister, cousin, friend or lover….. From time to time I like to share the pick up artist  and Iceberg Slim chicanery because dudes be winning! So why settle on waiting and losing, when you can write your own rules!

 

 

Declarations & Jill Scott’s songs in action

 

 

” I miss you, I miss what we used to do together and you need to do something about it!” My friend and I chuckled over this declaration from her once long-time turned twice a year lover.

We were tickled because he had grown leaps and bounds in being able to express any vulnerable feeling. So although, he had miles to go his declaration had shown growth however, he still wanted her to do most of the work in the relationship.

It seems during their conversation that he finally had a moment of awareness. He suddenly became aware that their relationship had changed drastically and that she was no longer engaged to the level she once was. Primarily because he didn’t respond well to love and after being hurt and over worked and him refusing to listen or to take accountability or be impeccable in practice-she became one of Jill Scott’s songs in action.

 

I give my good girlfriend credit because never did she put any demands on him, she genuinely loved him unconditionally however over time she tried to extinguish some bad behaviors and after being unwilling (as my soul sister Veronica Conway and I live by)  to design to create solutions that fully meet the needs of everyone in the relationship leaves you no other choice but to change the rules of engagement!

My friend- made a declaration, definitively asked for what she wanted from him and left the relationship because her wisdom and prudence knew she would never get what she wanted if she was willing to accept less than what she required and needed. She slowly and gradually ended contact with her lover so that she would not trigger his abandonment issues.

In conclusion, what Ms. Ballard said rings true, ” What you don’t like today you will love tomorrow!”

 

 

Make a declaration and get some business

 

 

I wasn’t able to write my usual post yesterday because I was so exhausted that I slept from the late afternoon throughout the entire night and I woke up early this morning, hoping that the person who had stolen all of my energy the day before would heed my requests.

As a woman of a certain age, I have grown in many ways and I generally like to stay on the side of diplomacy and since I’ve learned over time that I did not necessarily attach to my primary caregiver, it gave me strength in being perceptive.

Because I have never really been a child even during my chronological childhood ages I can easily see and understand things from other people’s perspective even if I do not agree with them.

Nevertheless, I allowed my perception of what and who I knew I was dealing with to continually give someone passes for their behavior because I felt they were young and I  knew they were immature.

So after drawing a line and the person crossing it and successfully pushing my buttons, making my pressure rise. I had to disengage because I did not want my behavior to escalate and I did not want to begin to behavior the way- they had grown accustomed to their mother acting. Subsequently, I had to regain my composure because after all I had drawn a line in the sand!

And once I draw a line in the sand and you cross it, it’s consequence time. Now early in life after giving a male the benefit of the doubt and a number of passes of human behavior I would have to put my foot down and make a declaration.

See once you set the stage to being loving kind and supportive towards a male (or a human being) he gets accustomed to it even if he cannot appreciate it at first. And once they start popping their collars on your ass too much you drop the declaration statement on their ass with new standards and requirements and you tell them do not return until you have accomplished everything.

Now hear me clearly they may try to come back before meeting all the requirements and you must say, “good job but you have not met all the requirements so do not return until you do”. And do not talk to their ass again until they have met the standard. Until then get you some business, get you a new starter and or a starting line up and put them in heavy rotation, enjoy your life and have fun.

Now it may take some time for them to meet the requirements however I have not met a man who has not come back with the required results. Although, if times have changed I may not be available- however there is nothing to fret because all of the requirements met will result in character development.

 

Stand up in it!

 

 

Put people and shit where they go-Me

I can’t stand good lying muthafuckas. Once you get grown grown your tolerance for bullshit wanes. Let me stop bullshitting I ain’t never really been able to tolerate or stomach bullshit cause you can’t never solve shit if muthafuckas lying.

Now I said, all that to say the best way to get more pussy and quality pussy at that is to tell the fucking truth. Grown ass men lying and telling females what they want to hear in order to get pussy is egregious!

Ain’t nothing sexier and more confident than a man who can put shit where it goes tell you what time it is and still be able to treat you right. Ain’t nothing worse than a nigga whose always out to get “Sympathy Pussy!”

Ain’t nothing better than when a Man can stand up in it! So tell the truth and who ever caint handle it …….will make room for those who can!

 

 

 

African Booty Scratcher

One of my grandmothers’ favorite sayings was, ” People don’t believe fat meat is greasy and shit stank!” And she was right. So as I sat and watched the most recent episode of Queen Sugar and during one of the scenes one of the characters does something with Oshun to help her sister. I say ” something” with complete sarcasm because I am not sure what she was doing…..I can gleam what her intentions were however with the prevailing rise in people now embracing the Yoruba culture often too many times it is displayed in a disrespectful or romantic manner within the media. And the newly acquainted are spreading and teaching things that can be detrimental and cause much dissolutions  further down the line.

The hailing of the Orishas in association with Beyoncé’s Lemonade seems to have created a momentum that is spreading like wild fires the same way these African printed skirts are trending. Being African is not a trend and to treat the Orisha’s as if they are a trend is dangerous! Growing up and being born and raised in the African Yoruba tradition I am reminded of just how unpopular, ugly and evil being African was so for it to be trendy now gives pause for the cause. When I think of how many times myself, my siblings and my cousins were teased and called ” African Booty Scratchers!” , we’d be rich Eventually we had to taper down on wearing African clothing just to try and semi fit in. As usual, I digress. So as I see folks jumping onto the band wagon a day late a dollar short I would like to give a word to the wise.

Rather you’re from the Conga, Nigeria, Senegal, Cuba or any place else, rituals and practices can vary however the one thing that is consistent is that the spirit whelm is nothing to play with or play in. I’ve been reading so much shit, folks activating and invoking deities and entities from different cultures simultaneously, doing candle work and getting divination at the same time, practicing spells, just plain olé fuckery.

African Spirituality is foremost about character building and family. It’s not passive, there is no finger pointing and blaming. There is no such thing as, ” the devil made me do it!” And ain’t nobody coming to save you! You can get help and assistance however you are going to have to do work and put in work. It ain’t magic however you can have some magical moments. But hear me clearly, it is about Give and Take! Reciprocity!

You start asking, calling down and taking you better be ready to give. The Orishas’ are not lucky rabbits foot or genie’s. They have positive characteristics and negative characteristics. They are not just all good and light. Too much light can kill you, this is why we have night and day! If you coming you better be ready and coming to do work cuz they ain’t playing, although they can be playful and fun.

One of the primary reasons I am writing this post is because I see way too many mentally ill people embracing this culture causing harm and devastation to themselves and others. This culture is not for the weak minded or faint of heart because so many things will happen to you that will test your character that if your mind ain’t right-you in trouble. Too many are coming to become followers, allowing people to lead them without using their own minds/head. We each have our own destiny and no matter what you prescribe to- just know……….. You were not born on a bad day and that you are good enough!