Tag "impatience"

Home Depot-a remedy for self soothing Part 2



Man in fur cap in wild terrain --- Image by © Arman Zhenikeyev/Corbis

So off I go to Home Depot feeling like a superhero. I make my way to the paint department and I am greeted by two millennials, nope that’s not correct. More like,  I stroll up on a young man and a young woman leaning against merchandise having a conversation and as the young woman looks over her shoulder she notices me and the young man follows her eyes to see what has caught her attention. Do you think she greeted me once we made eye contact?

On the contrary, the young lioness looks at me in total disgust as the young lions’ eyes begin to light up because  I had on a black t-shirt that was pretty see through and the juicy breasts that I grew naturally after breastfeeding my son became a distraction to their conversation, which caused her to roll her eyes and suck her teeth at me, she abruptly ended the conversation with a , ” Bye, Tyrone!” (I’m sure his name was something else but I forgot to read his name tag, so let’s just call him Tyrone) as if they were on a date instead of being at work. I shook my head thinking, “Baby girl why you at work acting all desperate and thirsty?

Hell, she might have thought I was thirsty- seeing as my breasts were spilling out of the t-shirt I had on and while I am no spring chicken I am still in child-birthing age. Although, I would not want to get pregnant at this age for fear that the child would have three eyeballs considering a woman’s eggs are old at age 27 and the kid would have to feed itself knowing full well I would be to dam tired to have a baby. More importantly, when you get a certain age, your body temperature increases and you’ve got to have at least one of your body parts getting some air at all times to prevent heat exhaustion. So until they invent air-conditioned bras and panties-I’m gon have my tities out!

Back to the story……..I tell the sales guy what I am looking for and I find a pack of what Martin had described only it had been opened and was missing pieces and they weren’t any other in stock. Now I spent way more time then I needed to in Home Depot asking questions, getting the wrong answers and subsequently buying the wrong merchandise.However, I did not know this until I returned home.

Once I got home, Martin informed me I had bought the wrong thing, Ugh and loud grunts came from my mouth because I had to return to the store and I became even more irritated because I had to stop by the gas station because I was on E, just to get back to Home Depot safely.

On my way back, I roll up my least favorite Shell Gas station, I hate Shell gas cause it burns too fast. As I exit my car, I noticed an attractive but frumpy dressed Latino lady standing at the door to the entrance of the mini mart where you go in to pay for gas and snacks. She says to me, “They not open but she in there!” I’m like, ” whose in there?”

So I go over to the outside pay window and lo and behold there is robust black woman, hovered over a desk top calculator but before I noticed the calculator, I ask her, ” Have you been robbed? Is that why the doors are locked?” She says, “Un Un, aint nobody here but me and I got to do the register so I’m not giving out gas until someone else comes in at 6pm!” So I’m like, Uhm, you’re preventing yourself from being robbed!”

As I walk away from the window, I yell to the air, ” I hate the ghetto!”  I reprimand myself for being to dam lazy to get gas earlier. I get gas and I return to Home Depot only to have forgotten my wallet in the car after I reached the customer service counter to return the wrong merchandise and get my money back to buy the correct items so Martin could finally start the job.

I go out to my car to get my wallet containing the receipt and as I lock my doors, two Latinos ladies look incredulous as our eyes meet as we watch a white Van speeding out of the parking lot with the back doors open. I yell to get the drivers attention but he keeps speeding out the parking lot as if he had just taken a pee infested with gonorrhea hurrying to the doctor.

Buckets of newly purchased white paint were spilled all over the parking lot and as I watched the Van hit all the speed bumps without slowing down, I laughed so hard I almost peed on myself thinking, ” It sucks to be him and just wait until he gets where ever he is going and finds out all the shit he bought aint in the back of the van!” I also said a prayer hoping no one got hurt just in case more things started falling out the van.

When I got home, my family member told Martin, Oh boy, I know she down at Home Depot with her toe tapping with her hands on her hips because we didn’t listen. It seems I tap my toe and put my hands on my hip as I talk to soothe myself and prevent myself from turning into a dragon and leveling the city. Little did they know my irritation had dissipated once I got to the Shell Gas station and once I told them what happened in the Home Depot parking lot and after getting home and watching them do the reenactment of my toe tap we all fell out laughing!

Becoming a witness and or acting as a spectator in your own life is a great way to disengage from having negative emotional responses to undesired events and or bullshit that happens in your life.