Tag "mean-girls"

What makes an Angry Black Girl?

Mean, aggressive school girls teasing and pulling classmates braids --- Image by © Graham Oliver/Juice Images/Corbis

I do not like complaining without trying to find solutions to my problems. So after I posted my last two posts, I had to step away and question why I had posted them. I felt almost compelled to take them down but I did not write them to bring shame or harm to the important men in my life I wrote them to gain clarity and to release my negative emotions.

Since we are socially programmed from the outside in. I wondered how two different cultures became such an inner conflict within me and I  secretly wondered which one had the most impact.

In my quest for peace of mind- I ran across some interesting information that helped me make the connection between my 2 conflicting cultural upbringings. Can two different cultures lived in one life time cause insanity? Does code switching cause mental illness in black folks? Now this link does not directly address either of these questions but it’s something I’m asking myself.

Although I have been raised in the Yoruba culture, it is clear to me in terms of social development as a woman, protestant purity has had a bigger impact on my life based on the way I have been treated as a female.

More importantly the hoodoo of the Cult of Domesticity may be the spell and or blue print unconsciously inserted that disrupted and or disjointed my spiritual experience and feminine power.  Add to this the dysfunctions of my family lineage with the ever present,unyielding and unseen hands that dictate who and or what we should be and do, it’s a wonder I have kept my sanity!

My spiritual encounters with the Yoruba Goddesses and Female Warriors are proof of the power of the feminine, yet it has been hard to embody my own feminine energy and power and it makes me feel like you feel when you fall in love and the relationships ends as quickly as it begins due to outside forces yet you remain madly in love with the person despite being pulled apart.

There are countless of people in outrage and in uproar against female mutilation on the continent, however , there is a form of female mutilation that happens right here in America that seems more pervasive and more violent than the ones on the continent.

There is deception in the altruism and outrage- that would leave one to believe that there are strong sisterhood bonds with women in America, as if women in America are not entrenched in traditions that hurt and dismantle other women. The silent agreement in the mean girl behavior- is in fact- a competitive contact sport without official sponsors or a professional associations never the less it is as real as the NFL and just as violent.

I am not interested in debating over the good girl versus bad girl, upstanding woman versus the ratched, the house wife versus the career woman. I am interested in having a safe place to land and having and or creating an environment where I can be soft, sweet and receptive without fear that I will be mistreated, violated and or hurt by either male or female.