Tag "power"

Why every woman needs to get proficient in Iceberg Slim chicanery

 

I don’t know if I told you the story of how I went crying to my baby daddy about this other dude I started seeing and through tears, he and his friend told me to stop crying. They both looked at me with grins on their faces as if they knew a secret. And almost as if they were reading each other’s minds-they both said almost at the same time, ” It’s not your turn!” Basically they both told me not to fret that if I kept busy with a good attitude my turn would come again. So, I stopped crying because I felt immediate relief because I didn’t need to worry, there was nothing wrong with me and I had not warranted the change in his behavior.

And since I had learned the magic phrase I paid closer attention to our encounters and as I began to review our engagements I saw patterns and I discovered for myself that I was Friday’s girl. And at the time if I had to have a day, Friday was a great day, it was fun day! I pondered some more – I recalled his fascination with Iceberg Slim. So I began doing a little research on this pimp poet. Although, I never read one of his books with minimal effort I learned this negro had used some of the same lines of Iceberg Slim on me and I had fallen for them.

Now I give all dudes I deal with a disclaimer since there are far and few men that I will even entertain seeing as I can go years without really liking or feeling a guy. I like to put things on the table, ask questions, you know put shit where it goes cuz I do not like surprises good or bad. Now usually negroes pretend to respond well, I generally ask them to be upfront with me about who they are dealing with up to the point of not asking for names so when I get a ” I’m not dealing with nobody but you!” declaration I’m usually giving them the side eye if my intuition is telling me different. I warn them what can happen if they decide to lie and play hoe games and from that point on I’m like let the games begin.

This was pretty much my approach to dating when I was in my 20’s. Needless to say, most often times then not negroes would lie and I would eventually learn the truth, however not without them learning some valuable lessons. See one thing I tell everybody, ” I do not have to go looking for anything, whatever I need to know will literally fall at my feet!” So imagine the day, I busted Iceberg Slims’ protegé on my block. You should have seen his face as he turned the corner and our eyes met and I could see the fear in his eyes and he could see the shock on my face as he hit my block, looking as if he saw a ghost. Problem is he did not know that I lived on that block because I had only moved a week earlier and he had yet to visit because he was “busy”.

Little did he know all day I kept thinking about a certain type of car, my mind kept chanting the name of the vehicle and I could not understand why. After being out all morning on a beautiful sunny Saturday I returned home and something told me to go outside and sit on the stoop. I sat with my hands under my thighs and as I said his name in my head, he turned the corner in the same car I had been thinking about all day- it was brand new, black shiny and as sleek as a panther.

So when he rode passed me and went 4 houses down from me on the opposite side of the street and a girl got out of the passenger side. I just sat there, shocked and watched the whole thing. The girl looked like me except she was taller, so he had a type. I listened as she kept, telling him to get out of the car, yet he refused, I continued to watch and listen as two older women came out of the house to the car. It turned out it was her grandmother’s house and I would later see this same girl who looked like she could be my sister almost everyday.

We both learned later on that we shared more spaces in common when a few weeks after they hit my block I was walking out of my college english class and she hit the corner and I could see the pain in her face, seeing as I subtly dropped a hint to her asking if I had seen her the other day getting out a black car with HitnRun  a few days after the incident. She said his government name and curtly stated, ” That’s my boyfriend!”  Turns out we lived on the same block went to the same school.

As I sat on my hands and watched who I thought was my boyfriend- say a few words to them and left going in the opposite direction of me.  I spoke with him later on in the day and in the most smooth cool voice he lied and said, ” It wasn’t me!”And although, I knew he was lying through his teeth his resolve calmed me down to the point I could not stay angry with him but his last words really sobered me. He said, ” I ain’t married to nobody!” No shit Sherlock which is why I put everything on the table in the beginning so there would be no need to lie and play games. But I found out putting things on the table for niggas who thrive on games and Iceberg Slim tactics cannot elevate their self-esteem if they are honest and transparent. Nevertheless, to this day whenever I see him, he salutes me because he learned the hard way I ain’t the one to be playin hoes games with!

Another almost deadly combination to any woman whose mind is overtaken by an Iceberg Slim followers is the conundrum that can happen when you decide to hold your pussy, go on a dick diet, remain celibate or whatever you want to call it and one of these Ratbastards, ” Catches you on a good day!” Good day for them bad day for you!  ” Let me say it one mo gen, if you have been holding your pussy for a long period of time and you end up fucking one of these Iceberg Slim fakers you can and will end up in a dick haze so deep you might as well be on heroine. Once you orgasm you think you’re in love and once your brain releases those eurphoric chemicals- baby even the strongest women can literally lose their minds due to the psychological warfare these pimp students play on women’s mind. See you can be turned into a hoe and never walk a track or the streets, why ya bullshitn!

The saying, ” I take em from 8 to 80, blind cripple and crazy!” is real cuz no matter the age of a male who loves to use this mind fuckery you can find your mind being blown at any age. The confusion and damage ensued by these Ratbastards can lead to irreversible damage if you’re not certain of the Iceberg Slim Chicanery, The It’s Not Your Turn Wheel a Girl Game, A man wants to be in a committed relationship but just not with you- never knew the rules game. Once you learn the rules of engagement they may seem like hard pills to swallow. However, if you keep the wolves off you from the beginning you might survive the dating world without being swallowed whole.

Now hear my clearly, I have been the prey to this dude and a few others have tried to set traps for, little did they know the traps that they set for me would be the very ones they would be sitting in. Somebody should have told stupid ass Bridget greedy ass the game. When this same dude asked me, if I were willing to get a PO Box and put it in my name, I looked at him with the same aloothness as the day he said, ” It wasn’t me!” and  I replied, ” I don’t get down like that!” and as a recall my words I can vividly see Bridget hauling ass like she had a pack of wild banchees sniping at her as she tried to dodge the bullets the Mexican cowboys meant for Ty. But once again, that’s another story. That’s the biggest lesson to learn is you gotta draw the line before not after you meet these kinds of jokers or else you will be doing a bid, losing your mind and possibly your soul.

My contribution to sisterhood

 

Lips of a Woman with Golden Object --- Image by © Crisco/Corbis

 

The media machine is so powerful that even when you don’t want to engage or talk about celebrities or  trending subjects you’re almost forced to. I generally try to stay away from the topic of celebrities because a) they got enough money , b) I do not know them personally  and c) it aint my business and they got a right to privacy plus they shit and piss just like the common folks. But hear my clearly, I am sick of people talking about Amber Rose… if I hear one more person knock her or try to discredit her, I swear I am going to slap the shit out of somebody. And the new girl ” it girl” Cardi B is taking some bruises to. I’m sorry but the ability to make a man feel good is priceless and is a commodity.

Folks been bad mouthing and talking bout strippers like they aint shit, until some white chick got on Oprah and swagger jacked  the industry and made pole dancing a trend and a form of exercise…legitimizing it. Now everyday females wont a turn on the pole. It is now being deemed worthy of the status of an Olympic Sport but when Amber, Shanika and even Becky’s are in the club performing for men that aint shit but hoes?

The same way formally and classically trained dancers don’t get the respect they deserve but the Ratbastards in the exercise industry don swagger jacked  “Bar Work” and now there are bar classes (minus all the other elements of dance)  all over  major cities throughout the world. If we put shit where it goes aka tell the truth most if not all these women in these pole classes and bar classes are doing it to get a man or keep a man but somehow Amber Rose aint shit….she dont have no so-called real skills and or assets.. It’s cool to be in a pole class for your husband-to add spice to your relationship (side eye) but it aint cool to be on the pole making it rain for money to sustain your self as a woman.

Stripping and sucking dick to eat, be it a personal choice or a mandate does not negate their value or the value of their services. Rather than all this pussy policing, women especially need to take some notes because if more women would focus on their own feminine powers and the magic of their own pussies instead of hating on the next female, they would have more fulfilled lives. While I have not made the personal choice to strip, I do know strippers personally as well as professional prostitutes and what they all have in common is the ability to make a man feel good! Truth be told we all hoes, we either hoeing to keep our husbands or hoeing to feed our selves and our kids!

If you aint learned to leverage the power of your own pussy….too muthafuckin bad! But don’t take it out of the next female. For instance, not too long ago- I caught the attention of a younger gorgeous frequently sought after man who for whatever reason no woman in this particular circle could get his attention yet some how I did.  I wasn’t trying to get his attention I was simply being myself and a shit storm ensued as to how I was able to get his so-called undivided attention and devotion-I was even accused of throwing juju on the young lion. As if there isn’t a such thing as Mad Sex Appeal? Again more females should take notes from women who are naturally alluring! And all that bullshit about you caint turna hoe into a housewife it just that…..BULLSHIT!

If you ask me: What is one of my natural talents? It is Undeniable that I turn average dudes into superheros! I love a cute boy and have been boy crazy since I was a teenager, now hear me clearly there is a limit in what I will do for to get or keep a man…..I draw the line…….I aint taking penitentiary chances,  fighting another woman over a man is unlawful and against all my personal principles…… losing focus on my goals to keep a man, absolutely not. Do I believe in not being compensated for the value of my work” Fuck you-Pay ME!”

Again, I turn average dudes into superheroes. Case in point, I got a late night call from a male lover in high places saying that he had been unable to sleep for months after a business deal went south and I told him he didn’t need the investors who bailed on him that he could do it himself, he went on to explain that he would be up in the late night hours burning coals and that even his wife had not been able to motivate him they way that I had.

And with the most breathy excited whisper he told me, ” You have inspirational pussy!” Now mind you we have not be lovers for years, since he had gotten married I served as his clandestine advisor. He spoke so passionately saying whenever he thought of me, it motivated him to get things done to make his dreams come true.  He went on to elaborate on the specific words I had used and he began to explain the steps he had been taking. He had secretly taken action and his project was almost finished and would soon be ready to launch. Is he the only man calling to confess my words have impact that the strategies and tactics I had given him had worked successfully absolutely not!

As I begin, to recount these types of incidents have been happening for years. Recently after hosting an event and party, I was detained for a moment in order to express deep gratitude , as I was being dropped off at my car after hosting and catering to some diplomats, their liaison said, that he was so impressed with the ease of my domestic goddess skills and even more remarkable was the joy he said he felt from me as I anticipated their every need.

I simply told him, it was the way I was raised and since they were all such gentleman and neither of them were demanding I received great pleasure from waiting on them hand and foot. Little did he know that I had begun to master the art of hospitality, men and service by the time I was 4 years old. What I do know is my hospitality skills are unmatched and I seek no outside credibility to say without humbleness, I am one of the greatest when it comes to making a man feel good and motivating him to be a better man for himself and if another women benefits I feel it’s my contribution to sisterhood.

One of the luxuries that I have had is being the only girl and the advantage of being the only girl is not having anyone else to compete with now match that with being first. It’s been pretty easy to learn and understand men.  One of the good things in having been taught the art of men by my  father was not competing with other women so I wasn’t programmed to view other women as a threat. There was no need for comparisons because as my father so poetically would tell me, “She caint do what you can do and you can’t do what she can do so there’s no competition.” And without restraint he would continuously remind me, ” That every girl has a pussy regardless if she is cute or ugly!”

 

If your vagina was a superhero what would it look like?

 

I’m sick of the Pussy Police, always worried about what someone else is doing with their pussies. What is the deal, the fascination of the pussy, and if it is so dam bad….why won’t muthafuckas stay out of it or leave it alone altogether. I am aware that I have separated the pussy from its body on purpose because it is if the two can not co-exist in peace without being demoralized, devalued and demeaned when it comes to a woman’s sexuality. So I share this story with you….to illustrate my point.

When I was around 9 years old I started my period I was pissed off because anyone who knows me knows that I hate surprises, so when my mother came to me a week and I mean 7 days before this wretched thing appeared I was in lala land. My YeYe came to me all coy and sentimental talking about how her mother never told her about her period and when it came she didn’t know what is was and as a result, she had to throw away all of her panties. So imagine being nine years old and you hear this story, I’m like, what a complete moron, how the hell do you not tell someone that one day they will bleed like a waterfall. The movie Bloody Mary had invaded my thoughts-not that I had seen the movie, which was prohibited by my parents but from all the details from my peers that was my visual.

Anyway 7 days…and I mean…7 days later my period came and I was like, “Really, you tell me about this 7 days ago and it shows up, are you serious, do you think that was enough time for me to prepare for such an event!!”, I said to my mother. Granted she thought she did better than her mother but I was convinced and still am that they both were complete IDIOTS. Now imagine, at the next family gathering, where 30 some odd people come to you sometimes in groups or singular, proclaiming, “YOU’RE A WOMAN NOW!” “You told, the whole family?” “Yes!”, my mother replied. Talk about humiliation…..but I’m not done yet.

Sometime after the victory celebration by everyone but me, I was eavesdropping on a conversation-my parents were having about the ramifications of me “getting my period” and the only way I can describe the conversation was that “my pussy” had become a WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION and it had to be policed and my father sanctioned my mother as the official Pussy Police. It seemed like a scene out of an X-MEN movie when parents are trying to figure out what to do with their mutant child. Now what would a super mutant power pussy look like if it were a super hero in the form of a human?

To be continued……….